feminine-genius

Suffering through Easter

I didn't want this story to go unnoticed. Prayers for them all:

Mosul (Agenzia Fides) – A 3-year-old Christian child died after a bomb attack on a Christian home in Mosul. This is what Fides sources in Mosul said, noting that "there is still fear amongst the Christian community."

The attack was made against the house of Ramzy Balbole, a painter with a wife and three children. A bomb was placed near his house and exploded on the morning of Saturday, March 27, injuring his wife and three children and causing severe damage to housing. The injured were taken to the hospital, but the little child died as a result of injury. "Yet another event to mourn in this Holy Week in the Christian community of Mosul. Christians are under attack and, like Simon of Cyrene, are helping Christ to carry the Cross, sharing in his Passion," note the sources of Fides.

"We are waiting for better times. The faithful are terrified. But the word of the day is 'hope,' always and in every circumstance," Fides was told in an interview with Archbishop George Casmoussa, Syrian Catholic Archbishop of the city. "We will celebrate Easter in this situation of suffering and fear. Our churches will not be crowded, as they would usually be, as many Christian families have fled the city and many faithful will remain at home for fear of attacks. But, they continue to hope in God, in Jesus Christ, in His Resurrection, as He leads us as Iraqi Christians to rise with Him. We continue to pray for the future of peace in our country," Archbishop Casmoussa told Fides.

"Given the recent political developments, we are hoping now in a strong government whose only plan is to bring peace and justice to Iraq. We want a government that defends the interests of religious, ethnic or political factions, seeking the common good of the country, because Iraq belongs to everyone," said the Archbishop.

And elsewhere, another indication that the blood of martyrs is the seed of the Church:

The Catholic Church in Pakistan has experienced a "miracle of survival and growth", with a surge of vocations and ever larger numbers joining the faith in spite of increasing threats from Islamic extremists.

Seminary numbers are at a 15-year high, a new Catholic television channel has been launched and Catholic numbers continue to rise, according to a fact-finding mission by the Catholic charity Aid to the Church in Need (ACN).

With increasing pressure to conform to a strict Islamic culture and dress code, Church leaders said the Christian faithful felt threatened by a growing tide of intolerance, especially in rural areas and in the north of the country, an extremist stronghold thought to be the current home of al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.

John Pontifex, spokesman for ACN, said: "It's the miracle of survival and growth. There are so many good men and women wishing to give their life to the Church. They see the Church as champion of a happier and freer Pakistan, and some of them are highly educated guys who could have done anything they wanted. Time and again during this visit, we were moved by the plight of the Christian faithful. I was shocked by the scale of suffering Christians and other minorities now experience in Pakistan.

"Their experience of discrimination, oppression and sometimes outright persecution is made worse by grinding poverty and a climate of increasing fanaticism and intolerance. The chances of incidents of this kind spilling over into violence are more likely than before."

And yet, the Church grows. Prayers from this side of the world, and may we find the courage we need to be faithful in all circumstances.

One word is missing

The Global Post as a new piece up on Yemen, highlighting the struggle to end the custom of selling very young daughters into marriage:

A new white dress, chains of gold jewelry sparkling brightly and more attention than this 13-year-old girl had ever received before: It was like playing dress-up, but better, for Zainab Hussein.

“I’m a bride and I’m getting married!” she bragged to her friend, showing off her new jewelry.

A few days later, Zainab, who’d barely reached full growth, was married off to a 30-year-old groom who also was her cousin. He paid $5,000 to Zainab’s father for his child bride.

Now 28, she says of the experience: “It was very difficult. I still don’t know who to blame. Blame myself? Blame my father? Or my mother? I don’t know. I blamed my parents a lot.”

There’s much about her marriage that Zainab prefers not to recall. She had dreamed of becoming a doctor, but talks about it as if it were someone else’s dream. She laughs occasionally and nervously, bitter and confused emotions about her early marriage bubbling toward the surface.

When Zainab moved to her husband’s rural village, she entered a life of endless toil. She shepherded the goats each day, gathered wood for the stove, and tilled the field as is typical of women’s responsibilities in rural areas. Early every morning she would fetch drinking water from a source hours away.

She carried water even while pregnant, suffering three miscarriages.

Zainab said she felt like a stranger among her husband’s family. He returned to his other life in Saudi Arabia two months after they married. She was left alone to wait for his visits.

When she bore her first child at 15, Zainab was angry, so angry, she’d strike her daughter in front of her husband’s family to antagonize them.

“I had no feelings for my daughter, even when she got sick,” Zainab says, now ridden with guilt. “I didn’t have any maternal feelings. Now, why would I hit my daughter? She did nothing to deserve punishment. I just needed someone to take care of me and to love me, especially since my husband was away.”

And so the cycle continues, generation after generation, although Zainab does insist that she will try to keep her daughters from being married off so young. And to what does the writer attribute this phenomenon?

According to the U.N. Population Fund (UNFPA): “It is no coincidence that the same countries in Africa, Asia and the Middle East that have high rates of child marriage are those with high poverty rates, birth rates and death rates, greater incidence of conflict and civil strife, and lower levels of overall development, including schooling, employment and health care.”

This is irresponsible -- both for the UNFPA and for the writer who parrots it. The high poverty rates are simply a corollary to the marital confusion and abuse of women and children. There is a root cause for both:

Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) reported: "Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) married me when I was six years old, and I was admitted to his house when I was nine years old."

Our mothers and before them our grandmothers married when they were barely 12. Good upbringing makes a girl ready to perform all marital duties at that age (Sheikh Abdul Aziz Al-Sheikh - Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia).

A nine-year-old girl has the same sexual capacities like a woman of twenty and over (Skeikh Mohamed Ibn Abderrahmane Al-Maghraoui).

There are many Ahadith which confirm that marriage at an early age was widespread among the companions and no one denied its permissibility. Getting married at an early age was not peculiar to the Prophet as some people think, but it was general for him and for his Ummah.

The following are some of the actions of the Sahaba [companions]:

1. Ali Ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, married his daughter, Um Kulthum to Omar Ibn Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, and she mothered a child before the death of the Prophet. Omar got married to her while she was young before reaching the age of puberty. This is reported by Ibn Saad in 'Al-Tabaqat'.

2. From Urwa Ibn Zubair: that Zubair, may Allah be pleased with him, married his daughter when she was very young (reported by Saeed Ibn Mansour, in his Sunnah, and Ibn Abi Shaibah, in Al-musannaf, with a Sahih chain of narration).

Al-Shafie said in the book of Al-Um: "Many companions of the Prophet married their daughters while these were still young."

Delaying the marriage of girls in many Muslim countries is something new and contradictory to what Muslims used to do over many centuries. This is because of westernization and the application of man-made laws. This caused a change in understandings and customs within a considerable number of the population, and it is absolutely not permissible to consider the customs and traditions in a given country as the standard by which people abide, and fail to obey the absolute evidences of Shariah.

In some Muslim countries, the marriage for girls has been delayed by many years beyond the age of puberty. This has indeed led to an increase in the removal of the veil from the face, and increased fornication and adultery, as well as the emergence of deviation in conduct and religion among the youth. They had become morally unstable as they lack affection, chastity, and protection their private parts from illegal sexual relations.

By delaying marriage, there is also a reduction in the number of Muslims in the Ummah [the Muslim community], and this is contrary to the order of the Prophet, as he ordered us to have many children so that the Muslim nation will be greater in number than the previous nations.

So there is resistance to amending the minimum age of brides, which involves that "missing word." In fact, they find early marriage a defense against other "evils," even though it shreds the girls and lays a toxic foundation for family life. Christians instead might suggest education on a variety of topics which would do a far better job to enhance the dignity and well-being of little girls.

And what about the acceptable age for marriage? Some find it very low:

Sitting on a rocky ledge in the remote rural town of Al-Qobai, Mohammed Said, 27, gazed deeply at a stretch of barren land, beautiful and haunting. Shyly, he said he wanted to find a husband for his 8-year-old daughter.

He spoke candidly, with no edge of cruelty. His daughter’s price, or "mahr," which would be paid by her groom, seemed to be his only way out of his first and unhappy marriage. He said he needed the mahr money to marry a second wife.

It’s just the way things are in this country, he said.

An unhappy man who would sell his daughter for his own escape. That missing word can explain a host of things. 

The relentless bureaucracy

Dr Alexandra Colen, a member of the Belgian House of Representatives, has endured the UN grinder and shared her harrowing tale here.

I was witnessing a chapter of the Marxist push to reshape the world which triumphed in the West with the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s. The Marxist agenda, however, is one of global scope and its proponents will not rest until they have eradicated every last remnant of pre-sexual-revolution morality. Since the 1960s they have acquired powerful instruments to achieve this aim. They manipulate the complicated and non-transparent bureaucracy of the UN (they fondly refer to it as “the system”), which exerts powerful pressure on the governments of the world. Through this bureaucracy they aggressively advance their cause, initiating attacks on the core-values of family-based societies, especially the judaeo-christian values that have shaped Western civilization, at every opportunity.

In particular, she witnessed the way that the language is pushed through with the classic manipulation of members.

The discussions constituted a veritable battle; a battle of words, psychology and endurance. The aim of the US and its allies was to gain ground on the ideological battlefield by including references to “sexual and reproductive rights” in the text, i.e. to include the right to unlimited access to contraception and abortion in the recommendations of the UN (on maternal mortality!) to the governments of the world. Switzerland, Sweden, Canada and Australia were extremely diligent in this respect. Their relationship with the chair was of an amicable nature and the chair smiled upon them each time she gave them the floor. The Turkish representative could have been a hardcore feminist in the Europe of the seventies; the chair welcomed her as a shining star in the firmament of the women’s rights universe. At one point she advised the group to accept an amendment suggested by Turkey with the words “Turkey has been extremely helpful, so don’t oppose them here.” Turkey was also helpful in opposing the alliance of Iran, Qatar and Syria, who wished to adapt some of the wording relating to girls and to marriage. They were given the floor with an air of impatience. The liberals resented the fact that the “pro-lifers”, whom they spoke of with anger and hatred, had enlisted their help. Among the assembled national delegates the pro-lifers were few. The representatives of the Holy See, Costa Rica and Chile opposed the repeated attempts of the chair and her allies to introduce terminology which referred implicitly or explicitly to abortion.

The spokesperson for the European Union would have loved to introduce such terminology. However, she had to abide by the consensus which the 27 European Union members negotiated in separate informal consultations, held every morning at the headquarters of the EU Representation to the UN and chaired by a delegate from Spain, which currently chairs the EU. Here a similar battle raged, with the Spanish chair pressing for what she called “strong language.” She had prepared a “package on sexual health and sexual rights” for the EU members to agree on, a text which slyly attempted to introduce references to abortion and to “sexual and reproductive rights.” Malta, especially, was in the defense. Ireland, too, stipulated that it could not accept references to sexual and reproductive “rights” but only “health”. In general, though, the Irish representative seemed quite meek. In one informal moment it was mentioned that Ireland and Poland were “coming round”. The sweetness which the chair bestowed upon them was telling compared with the undisguised mockery that greeted the representative from Malta whenever he asked to speak. On more than one occasion he was subjected to scathing comments on the part of the chair. Informally Malta was referred to as a “hardliner.” Obviously the pro-abortion majority in the room did not regard themselves as hardliners, and could not imagine that others might not share their “enlightened” views.

It is important to follow these discussion, even if only from a distance. I think that any clashes you have at the local public school, in the courts, or among co-workers is best understood when you see the larger picture -- the world-wide struggle to push God out of society and to brand His followers as unenlightened bigots. If you see how language is used -- and often mangled -- then you will recall the words of Scripture that warned us that black would be called white, and white black.

Hold fast to the truth about the human person, that he is fearfully, wonderfully made, and called to a deep communion wherein he finds himself through a generous gift of self. The road is narrow, but we must be faithful. God will set things right in His own time. Bless these heroic souls for standing firm against mighty odds!

Mary keeps us grounded

[Image found here]

Fulton Sheen's  beautiful book, The World's First Love: Mary Mother of God, offers this explanation about the importance of Our Lady:

Coventry Patmore rightly calls Mary "Our only Saviour from an abstract Christ." It is easier to understand the meek and humble heart of Christ by looking at His mother. She holds all the great Truths of Christianity together, as a piece of wood holds a kite. Children wrap the string of a kite aroung a stick and release the string as the kite climbs to the heavens. Mary is like that piece of wood. Around her we wrap all the precious strings of the great Truths of our holy Faith--for example, the Incarnation, the Eucharist, the Church. No matter how far we get above the earth, as the kite may, we always have need of Mary to hold the doctrines of the Creed together. If we threw away the stick, we would no longer have the kite; if we threw away Mary, we would never have Our Lord. He would be lost in the Heavens , like our runaway kite, and that woould be terrible, indeed, for us on earth.

"The Jeweled Cross"

I have a new column up here. The title will always be precious to me because I heard it first in my own living room -- as Dr. Alice vonHildebrand told be about her new book and this inspiration that came to her one day in prayer. It's perfect, and I hope to flesh it out even more in the coming months over at Catholic Exchange where I'll be doing the bulk of my work in the future. A snippet:

Jewels have value in this life—for their rare beauty. Their appeal is universal, they are often associated with marks of distinction, and they can be obtained only at great cost.

The cross has often become such a banal cliché that many forget its torturous associations. Christians are wisely challenged to reflect on its meaning and the details of such a love that would compel the God-man to freely endure this suffering. Truly the human depths of our love and gratitude for God can never grasp the real cost of his gift.

So what does a “jeweled cross” indicate? It means that the suffering we endure for love has value—and even more so when joined to the salvific work of Christ. His is the cross that gives merit to our pain, and he is the one who shows what love can accomplish.

Interestingly, she also describes the priesthood as a jeweled cross, and she applies her new insight to the question concerning why women cannot be priests. Each cross is so heavy and all-encompassing, she believes, God wouldn't ask women to carry two simultaneously. While not the primary answer I would offer about why there is an all-male priesthood, it is a profound thought if you realise the implications of each vocation.

"A love letter from heaven"

A local sidewalk counselor in Providence, RI had been frustrated with the ambiguity of some women coming and going -- she couldn't figure out if they had changed their minds or not. Feeling a little deflated, she asked God for some confirmation. Out of the blue, a cab driver drove up to her and provided just that:

"I've been seeing you people out here for a few years. Sometimes there's just one. I don't like that, when one of you is left alone. Or when there's no one. But anyway, you made me think. I asked myself why anyone would come out in the rain, the snow, the heat, the night, the morning...Even alone.

Even when people were mean to you. I figured what you were doing MEANT something big. Why else would you do it? I thought and I thought, and then I realized there wasn't much to think about. What you do, standing and praying and holding that sign, (Before I formed you in the womb I knew you), standing no matter what...that is enough. It speaks for itself. That's the message. It's true.

So when my daughter called from down South to tell me she was pregnant, I thought of you. And I never said 'abortion' to her. I just helped. Now I'm the grandfather of a two-year old. That baby is so important. No matter what.

And recently I got another phone call, from my younger daughter. She has lots of difficulties and worries. Illness, financial problems, abandonment, everything. She told me she was pregnant. I thought of you people. Again, I knew. I didn't say 'abortion'. She's 7 weeks pregnant. She's going to make it. We'll work it out.

So, just so you know? YOU HAVE AN IMPACT. Don't ever think it's for nothing. We see you, we think about what you're doing and why, and look what happens. It's a good thing, what you do."

"Forty Days for Life" is almost over, but perhaps you could offer a Lenten sacrifice and provide the witness that doesn't go unnoticed. You may never know the tremendous impact you make.

Program note

Dr. Janet Smith is scheduled to talk to Christine Amanpour today (Wed, the 17th) at 3pm on the topic of the role of women in the Catholic Church. Prayers, and tune in (CNN) if you can.

Fatherly parallels

I have a piece at Pewsitter on the scandals and health care.

For all the great good of a hospital--for all the successful surgeries, for all the anxious mothers hoping for safe deliveries, for all the indigent sick who find the attention they so desperately need--what good is it if in the back rooms some babies are destroyed, or palliative care is denied to those considered not worthy of the expense? Aren't the benefits to the larger community compelling enough that we can turn a blind eye to those things that some find ethically problematic?

Sometimes I operate in a fog, and then something will pop out in 3-D. I do hope you're praying intensely for the Holy Father. What a Lent for everyone.

Article and announcement

I have a new piece up at Catholic Exchange (here) based on one theme in the World's Best Story -- Kristen Lavransdatter (of course!). It centers on the question we all have in how to respond to the troubling choices our children often make. It took me a long time to find that theme, as I explain, and even if you've read the trilogy before I would suggest giving it another go to see how you have changed over the years.

Now I've had pieces at Catholic Exchange for years and have always relied on it as an excellent font of all sorts of insight, so lo! imagine my joy in being asked to preside as editor of the section called Today's Catholic Woman. (Did you know they had an exclusive section just for women and the subjects they like to discuss?)

From you, I would ask for prayers, for you to spread the work and bookmark the site, and to consider writing what's on your heart -- either to flesh out your thoughts on femininity or to tell me what you like to read. You can contact me at gskineke [at] gmail [dot] com and kindly join in the discussions there. We'll be spending a great deal of energy in the coming months to stock the page with excellent materials as well as to give the old girl a facelift when the time is right. It will be a pleasure spending time at that site, and I'll have less time for this one in the immediate future.

Finally, if you have any events for women planned -- please let us highlight them for you at Catholic Exchange. We'll keep a calendar of events and links so that you might be nourished in person in addition to the communion you find on-line. Meeting one another and sharing the joys of our faith is what it's all about. See you at the new site!

Not your mother's scout troop

Sit-upons and camp fire songs are so last century:

(NEW YORK – C-FAM)  The World Association of Girl Scouts and Girl Guides hosted a no-adults-welcome panel at the United Nations this week where Planned Parenthood was allowed to distribute a brochure entitled “Healthy, Happy and Hot.” The event was part of the annual United Nations Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) which concludes this week.

The brochure, aimed at young people living with HIV, contains explicit and graphic details on sex, as well as the promotion of casual sex in many forms.  The brochure claims, “Many people think sex is just about vaginal or anal intercourse… But, there are lots of different ways to have sex and lots of different types of sex. There is no right or wrong way to have sex. Just have fun, explore and be yourself!” The brochure goes on to encourage young people to “Improve your sex life by getting to know your own body. Play with yourself! Masturbation is a great way to find out more about your body and what you find sexually stimulating. Mix things up by using different kinds of touch from very soft to hard. Talk about or act out your fantasies. Talk dirty to them.”

Might be time to reconsider buying those cookies, no matter how cute those local brownies are. Kudo's to C-Fam for wading through this dark mucky pond -- which is maintained on your tax dollar.