feminine-genius

If Mama aint happy ...

An interview with Michelle Obama will be published in November, which is summarised here.

First lady Michelle Obama says women should do what makes them happy, a lesson she says she learned after realizing her two children, her husband and her physical health feed off of her good moods.

In an interview appearing in the November issue of Prevention magazine, Mrs. Obama discusses the meaning of good health, aging and her exercise, diet and beauty routines. Mrs. Obama says she learned "what not to do" from her mother, Marian Robinson, who now lives at the White House.

"She'd say being a good mother isn't all about sacrificing. It's really investing and putting yourself higher on your priority list," Mrs. Obama said. She said Robinson put her own two children first, sometimes to the detriment of herself.

"She encouraged me not to do that," Mrs. Obama said.

The first lady said there are many facets to good health - physical, internal, emotional, diet - and all are intertwined.

"Throughout my life, I've learned to make choices that make me happy and make sense for me. Even my husband is happier when I'm happy," Mrs. Obama said in her first interview with the women's health monthly. "So I have freed myself to put me on the priority list and say, yes, I can make choices that make me happy, and it will ripple and benefit my kids, my husband and my physical health."

"That's hard for women to own. We're not taught to do that," she added. "It's a lesson that I want to teach my girls."

I think people love to make themselves out as heroic martyrs or slaves to integrity. The classic question in a job interview ("What is your biggest defect?" or "What would you change about yourself if you could?") is supposed to be answered: "I'd try to relax and not take my work so seriously," or "I'd stop being such a perfectionist." In that way, you play to the charade of naming a defect which is actually the very characteristic that the employer wants.

Here we have the Mommy Twist: "I'm so prone to oblate myself for others that I'm going to heroically sacrifice this desire and go to a spa." In that way, indulgence becomes virtue.

Any culture that successfully peddles magazines called Allure, Self, Glamour, Ms, O, and Lucky doesn't seem to have any esteem problems. Add to that all the self-help columns, sex advice, and beauty items (cashing in $billion$ monthly) and we seem to detect a society that is already all about "happy!"

Perhaps a better message would be to indicate that those who've been blinded by "It's all about me!" life-styles are chasing waterfalls and not terribly happy in the end. There's something to be said for authentic love which places God and others in the queue ahead of facials and retail therapy. And oddly enough, when God is first, sometimes He indulges us in unforseen ways.

How many A&F pieces do your kids own?

I know you can't fight cool -- and some labels just reek of prestige. I see Abercrombie and Fitch labels everywhere (it's the brand that's meant to be sported to indicate you've arrived). When we had exchange students in from France last year, all the families met at the malls so that they could take home suitcases full of the best name brands, and that's when I learned that a slinky little t-shirt from A&F was ridiculously expensive.

So now there's a "New College" line, in case their goal hasn't been obvious enough:

The first A&F T-shirt pictures a young girl opening her blouse - exposing herself. A&F titles the image: "Show the Twins". The second picture is of a female running nude. A&F titles it: "Female streaking encouraged." The next Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt is entitled: "Female Students Wanted for Sexual Research"

Abercrombie & Fitch does not merely sell a popular line of clothing -- they sell a lifestyle. And because A&F clothing is popular among teens and college kids, the influence of their sex-as-recreation lifestyle is widespread.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention reports that Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) remain a major public health challenge in the United States. CDC estimates that approximately 19 million new infections occur each year� almost half of them among young people 15 to 24 years of age [Is that the "research" the stupid t-shirt is talking about?].

And feminists wonder why women aren't taken seriously. Images here, as well as information on how to grumble. I doubt you can stop them from being their boorish selves, but you can reconsider those more innocent "billboards" you let your own kids wear to prove they're hip. It's not a lifestyle we can afford to ignore.

Patriotism matters

I wept my way through this (twice) and want you to take the time to meditate on what its meaning really is. Consider especially the gratitude that the people along road felt and why. Patriotism is founded on natural duty, and personal sacrifice is a virtue that imitates Our Lord Himself:

St. Thomas Aquinas had already coupled together these two devotions, to parents and to country (Summa Theologica, 2a, 2ae, Q. 101). Dealing with the virtue of "pietas," dutifulness, he writes: "The principles (or origins) of our being and governing are our parents and our country, which have given us birth and nourishment. Consequently man is debtor chiefly to his parents and his country, after God. Wherefore, just as it belongs to religion to give worship to God, so does it belong to "pietas," in the second place, to give worship to one's parents and one's country." Thus, unlike nationalism, patriotism comes within the sphere of virtue, duty, and moral obligation.

Likewise, the Catholic R. P. Longhaye understood what patriotism signified:

"The fatherland— 'la patrie'— is first and foremost the soil, the soil with its own peculiar physiognomy, the soil with the contours and undulations that lend it its character. . . . But before all else the soil keeps its hold upon us by the memories it stores up for us, memories whose range is as wide and as varied as life itself, memories that dwell in the intimate depths of our hearts, but more than all that memories the common possession of which links together in a bond of union the compatriots who share them. . . .

"Land of birth, land of cradles and of tombs, in a word, land of the family,—and already there enters into the very idea of fatherland a more living and more lovable reality: the family, of which the fatherland is but the historical flowering, the family, from which the fatherland comes forth as from its prototype and native element. The fatherland is the uniting bond of fathers, the bond of ancestors, the bond of memories and of domestic traditions.

"Let us unite religion with the fatherland, the altar with the hearth. What point of attachment can be more solid? . . . Always do you find those two intimately united. . . . The altar and the hearth —there we have as it were the two historical poles of the fatherland, pro aris et focis.

Headed out now to a funeral -- of a patriot as a matter of fact, though one who lived a long and rich life. We are blessed -- let us not forget it or neglect to remind our children of their heritage.

Unfortunate term

Latest from Rome includes the following:

VATICAN CITY, 10 JUL 2009 (VIS) - Made public today was a pastoral message for World Tourism Day published by the Pontifical Council for the Pastoral Care of Migrants and Itinerant People. World Tourism Day falls this year on 27 September and the theme of the English-language message is: "Tourism - celebrating diversity".

 

  In the message, dated 24 June, Archbishop Antonio Maria Veglio and Archbishop Agostino Marchetto, respectively president and secretary of the council, write: "Diversity is a fact, a reality, but, as Pope Benedict XVI reminds us, it is also a positive factor, something good, and not a threat or a danger, up to the point that the Holy Father wants 'people not only [to] accept the existence of other cultures but also desire to be enriched by them'.

 

  "The experience of diversity belongs to human existence, also because each one's development advances by diversifying steps that promote the person's growth and maturity process. It is a progressive discovery, as we compare ourselves with people and everything around us, thus distinguishing ourselves from what is unlike us".

 

  The president and secretary of the council highlight the importance of doing "everything we can to transform discrimination, xenophobia and intolerance into understanding and mutual acceptance, through the roads of respect, education and open, constructive and binding dialogue".

 

  "Tourism is also an occasion for dialogue and listening, inasmuch as it puts people in contact with other ways of living, other religions, other ways of seeing the world and its history", they continue. "It is likewise an invitation not to withdraw into one's own culture, but to be open and face different ways of thinking and living. It should not be surprising, therefore, that extremist sectors and terrorist groups of a fundamentalist nature indicate tourism as a danger and an objective to destroy. Mutual knowledge - let us ardently hope - will help in building a more just, supportive and fraternal society".

 

  "If tourism develops in the absence of an ethic of responsibility, there would at the same time be the danger of uniformity and of beauty as 'fascinatio nugacitatis'. What happens, for example, is that local residents make of their traditions a show for tourists, offering diversity as a commercial product".

 

  "All this requires an effort, both on the part of the visitors and of the local residents who welcome, to assume an attitude of openness, respect, nearness, trust in such a way that, motivated by their desire to meet others, respecting their personal, cultural and religious diversity, they will be open to dialogue and understanding".

 

  After emphasising how "in contemplating diversity, the human person discovers traces of the divine in the footprints of what is human", the two archbishops affirm that "for the believer, differences as a whole open ways by which one can draw near the infinite greatness of God".

 

  "God entrusts the Church with the task of forging a new creation in Jesus Christ - thanks to the Spirit - recapitulating in Him all the treasures of human diversity that sin has transformed into division and conflict".

 

  The message concludes by expressing the hope that "the divine breath of life may win over every xenophobia, discrimination, racism, and bring nearer those who are far away, through a contemplation of the unity/diversity of a human family blessed by God".

With the term "diversity" being so highly charged in negative ways, it's surprising that they couldn't have expressed themselves differently. It also seems as though they didn't consult with the new encyclical, Caritas in Verite, which mentions the two unhelpful ways in which to view cultures:

Let it not be forgotten that the increased commercialisation of cultural exchange today leads to a twofold danger. First, one may observa a cultural eclecticism that is often assumed uncritically: cultures are simply placed alongside one another and viewed as substantially equivalent and interchangeable. This easily yields to a relativism that does not serve true intercultural dialogue; on the social plane, cultural relativism has the effect that cultural groups coexist side by side, but remain separate, with no authentic dialogue and therefore with no true integration. Secondly, the opposite danger exists, that of cultural levelling and indiscriminate acceptance of types of conduct and life-styles. In this way, one loses sight of the profound significance of the culture of different nations, of the traditions of the various peoples, by which the individual defines himself in relation to life's fundamental questions. What eclecticism and cultural levelling have in common is the separation of culture from human nature. Thus, cultures can no longer define themselves within a nature that transcends them, and man ends up being reduced to a mere cultural statistic. When this happens, humanity runs new risks of enslavement and manipulation (CV, 26).

All of this is subject to nuance, of course, and there is no "smoking gun" phrase which belies an antipathy to the pope's concerns, but the phrase "celebrating diversity" has been so hijacked that it's hardly applicable without some red flags appearing.

Rich in relationships

I'm so glad the NYTs took the time to cover this community accurately. They are a living witness to how things can be at the end of life.

A convent is a world apart, unduplicable. But the Sisters of St. Joseph, a congregation in this Rochester suburb, animate many factors that studies say contribute to successful aging and a gentle death — none of which require this special setting. These include a large social network, intellectual stimulation, continued engagement in life and spiritual beliefs, as well as health care guided by the less-is-more principles of palliative and hospice care — trends that are moving from the fringes to the mainstream.

For the elderly and infirm Roman Catholic sisters here, all of this takes place in a Mother House designed like a secular retirement community for a congregation that is literally dying off, like so many religious orders. On average, one sister dies each month, right here, not in the hospital, because few choose aggressive medical intervention at the end of life, although they are welcome to it if they want.

“We approach our living and our dying in the same way, with discernment,” said Sister Mary Lou Mitchell, the congregation president. “Maybe this is one of the messages we can send to society, by modeling it.”

Even though the order is aging with little hope of renewal, their "swan song" is full of affection and insight.

“There is a time to die and a way to do that with reverence,” said Sister Mary Lou, 56, a former nurse. “Hospitals should not be meccas for dying. Dying belongs at home, in the community. We built this place with that in mind.”

Heroic icons of the Church, still. Chapter Three in The Book. Might be good summer reading...

What's YOUR problem?

This is classic. Those who take issue with campy perversion, irreverence and sexual innuendo are the ones with the problem. In light of the public taking issue with a park decorated with suggestive artwork, we have the enlighted opinions of the art world to set us straight.

[L]ocal artist, John Rankine, says those who are offended by the current paintings need to “lighten up a little bit."

“The art is a little provocative," he said. "It’s nothing you have to shield your children from in horror.”

Besides, says Buchanan, the project's creator, deciding what is appropriate is subjective: “Depending on your emotional background, you could see something offensive in your spaghetti,” she said.

Alice being tempted by a drag Queen of Hearts (in women's underwear) aint exactly pasta swirls. The coyness involves other people's children -- as usual. These folks take great offence when anyone sneezes in the wrong key, and yet our children are supposed to be subject to their visual games without prejudice. As for snickering at the Blessed Mother and perverting Saint Francis, they know we won't decapitate anyone over it. All safe and on someone else's dime.

What climate, this?

A visiting nurse in England asked if her elderly patient wanted prayers, and the offer was declined. End of story? No, the nurse is suspended without pay. The trick is that the patient wasn't offended -- but knew that some patient might be offended by such an offer. On behalf of her imaginary compatriots who might not like such spiritual meddling, she made a complaint. Off with the nurse's head.

Such is the climate created by the multicultural mafia. At the risk of alienating someone, somewhere, human discourse has been reduced to clinical efficiency. Old age is a difficult time when many are haunted by demons of the past, not to mention alienated family members or anxiety over financial problems  -- and a sympathetic nurse might provide many kinds of consolation to the lonely, the confused and the despairing. This example is a lesson: change the bandages, dispense the pills and plump the pillows. Good bye.

"We are always keen to be respectful of our patients' views and sensitivity as well as those of our staff," said a spokesman for the nursing service. Of course "sensitivity" has a limited meaning, which denies any attention given to the emotional state of the patients. The wholistic view that man is a spiritual animal is not welcome in this socialist paradise.

Queen Elizabeth II, Defender of the Faith, could not be reached for comment.

Troubling

I know that the law can be tricky and that sentencing often provides guidelines that bind the judge's hands, but this news account doesn't help to explain the verdict given to a clearly disturbed man whose house faced repossession. He lived there with his mother (age 71) and they were a combative pair with the added anxiety of soon being turned out. As the bailiffs approached the property, he shot his dogs, killed his mum, set the house on fire and ran off with the intention of killing himself as well, which didn't come to pass. Now he faces the minimum of ten years before being eligible for parole:

In interview he was calm, co-operative and polite and he told officers his mother was upset about the situation and after he had shot the dogs he found her lying face down on her bed. He told police: "she said, 'Do it'." So he explained he shot her twice but then thought he could hear her moving so he shot her again two more times.

He added: "She would just not go, the silly cow." Later he told officers: "We used to row like cat and dog. I said I could not wait for her to die and she said she wished she would. I loves the silly cow and she loves me."

Burbidge asked that no mitigation was given on his behalf at the hearing. Jailing him, Mr Justice Royce said that Burbidge would have to serve a minimum of 10 years before he could be considered for parole. The judge imposed a sentence of five years for possession of the handguns and a further three years for possession of the ammunition to run concurrently.

So ten years -- five for the bald fact of owning weapons and five for taking a life. Makes the life look rather ... cheap, no? Poor woman lived with this insanity for so long, and then the court insults her by a bizarre form of mercy for her killer. Perhaps I've misunderstood, but if one could manage to off someone without running foul of the gun laws, it would almost seem worth it -- if he were otherwise going to be homeless.

May she rest in peace, finally.

And evil shall be called good

I'm listening to a book (on tape) that is devoted to Charlemagne and his accomplishments. Phenomenal stuff, not only the political vision but the devotion to learning. The arrival of Alcuin gave impetus to the expanding the educational system which was accessible to folks of all walks of life -- not only the wealthy. The secular administration, the liturgy and family structures all benefited from the far-sighted reforms of that dynamic age. (Yes, it's what current scholars call "the dark age.")

Evidently we've just emerged from a similar "deficit," which means that now light can shine a little more brightly.

Scientists across America are celebrating the passing of the Bush administration as the end of a dark age, a bleak stretch in which research budgets shrank and everything — stem cells, sex education, climate change, and the very origins of the Grand Canyon — became a point of conflict.

President Barack Obama has ignited a new optimism among the white coats. In his inaugural speech, he promised to "restore science to its rightful place," hinting at nothing short of a renaissance in the fields of health, energy, the environment and America's schools.

As a testament to that, the United States Friday became the first country in the world to approve a clinical trial of embryonic stem cells in human patients.

You see, only when we get past the sentimental affection for babies and realise that they are simply potential body parts for the latte crowd will we truly advance. Says one researcher who headed to Canada to continue his work:

"The biggest reason for me leaving was the Bush administration … they were anti-intellectual, intolerant and the NIH pay line was plummeting," said Dr. Goldowitz, who arrived in Vancouver in 2007.

The audacity is universal, their egotistical appetites voracious. Never an eyelash batted over ethics or protocols. "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread."

Gee, what will the "white coats" provide next? Enlightenment is great, unless you're unborn, disabled, or very old. Those folks should realise that they're destined to be filaments in the bulbs that shine on the deserving.

Moloch would be proud.

Disturbing women

I'm not sure about the significance of the Costa Award in Great Britain, but this recipient is remarkable for her candor, her clarity of thought, and her self-absorption -- despite her claims to the contrary.

Diana Athill lives alone in London, very near Primrose Hill. “The only sound”, she said, “is people talking to their dogs.” There are books everywhere. She was a publisher all her working life, then took to writing herself: five volumes of memoirs that included some rather steamy affairs. They all made a splash, none more so than the latest, Somewhere Towards the End, which is about old age and approaching death and this week won the 2008 Costa prize for biography. “Reviews all over the place, including one in the Morning Star which ended: 'It is sad to think that the secret of a spry and contented old age is selfishness.’ I was rather put in my place.

Then, giving an overview of her life and the impact of aging:

“At first I thought there wasn’t much to say about growing older except that it’s bloody. Seventy is the beginning of being old, I felt really old when I was 80 and really really old when I was 90.” What she calls the ebbing of sex comes in the late sixties. “Rather a relief, not going to bed with anyone any more. One has the chance to enjoy men for other reasons.”

She insists that age is no excuse for not getting up in the morning, dressing well, getting out and about, and remaining interested, absorbed even, in others. "Anything absorbing makes you become not 'I’ but 'eye’ – you escape the ego.”

Interesting theory, and yet "I" is all I find in this woman. Others are there to amuse her, there is no Higher Power or eternal standard (consider her randyness) and family has been deliberately curtailed:

It surprises her that she’s never much minded not having children. “I love playing with Alexander [a young neighbour downstairs], but I’m glad I’m not his grandmother. Something in me didn’t want to get involved in something that was more important than anything else.” So had that reviewer discovered the secret of a contented old age? “Selfishness,” she says. “A sobering thought – I think the bastard’s probably right.”

Sadly enough, she's not alone. In fact a new industry is burgeoning for others like her, who want to play with children as an amusement rather than a commitment:

Many people like to stop and play with newborn babies, but now some adult women are playing house with fake babies. Some women are even going as far as taking day trips with the fake babies to the park, out to eat, and even hosting birthday parties for them.

Forty-nine-year-old Linda is married with no children of her own. Now, she says she feels like a mother because she has Reborns -- dolls made to look and feel like the real thing. "It's not a crazy habit, like, you know, drinking, or some sort of, something that's going to hurt you. It's like a hobby, and it doesn't really hurt anybody," Linda said. In her Kansas City home. Moore even has an elaborate room for the dolls. She organizes birthday parties, bakes a cake and even invites guests.

On cue, psychologists defend the trend.

Psychologists say there could be a problem if and when these women stop interacting socially with others in their life.

So as long as the birthday parties include guests and those day trips are in public places, these women are considered normal. And women like Diana Athill will be awarded prizes for five volumes of naval-gazing. No wonder the people around her are reduced to talking to their dogs. Kudos to the reviewer in the Morning Star who nailed it.

[FYI: there is a video here explaining Reborn Dolls. Please know I intend no lack of concern for those who have lost children to crib death. For those in that category, this still just seems ... odd.]