feminine-genius

Tremendous witness

In this generation, no one would have batted an eye if Trig had never been born. His mother is very busy (governor of Alaska), she already has four children, and he's part of a segment of society especially sought out for destruction. Despite all of this,the family finds him a rare gift:

Testing during early pregnancy revealed the baby had Down’s Syndrome.  Governor [Sarah] Palin said she was sad at first, but her family now feels blessed that God chose them.

The family released a statement which said, “Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed.”

She carried this child (and the forboding news) beneath her heart for months, and somehow found peace enough to carry on with strenuous work, a growing family, and a daunting challenge on the horizon. I pray that many see that children with Down's Syndrome come with their own graces, as so many other families have discovered. That many may live because of her brave witness.

God's permissive will

Amy Julia Becker shares her experience of being the mother of Penny, a child who happens to have Downs Syndrome. While the diagnosis was a jolt to her and her husband, the learning curve has been one of joy and grace:

Penny is twenty-six months old. She says “no” with the gusto of any of her peers. She uses speech and sign language to communicate, and has an expressive vocabulary of more than two hundred words. She tells me what she did at school today, and the names of her friends, and what she would like for her afternoon snack. Penny loves music. She eats with a spoon and fork, albeit messily. She knows her shapes and colors. She gives lots of hugs. She says “sorry” after a time-out for pulling the cat’s fur or throwing her drink on the floor. Her facial features are distinctive. Beautiful, I think, but different. She’s very short, and she wasn’t able to walk steadily until a few months ago. In other words, she has Down syndrome, and she is developing, in many ways, like any other child. Asking whether I am at risk for having another child with Down syndrome (and statistically speaking, the answer is yes, my “risk” is 1 in 100), is akin to asking whether I am at risk for having another child with brown hair, with gorgeous green eyes, with her father’s hand-eye coordination or her mother’s love for books. It implies that Down syndrome is something separate from Penny, something that could be extracted if only we had the proper tools and procedures. But that extra chromosome is intrinsic to Penny’s being. To take away Down syndrome is to take away Penny.

And yet, as her thesis reveals, the medical community would take away Penny in a heartbeat -- according to their "standards of care."

I heard a report on NPR about a new ethics recommendation from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. ACOG has stated that doctors unwilling to provide abortions have an obligation to refer their patients to another physician who will provide the procedure. In the words of the spokesperson on NPR, “if a physician has a personal belief that deviates from evidence-based standards of care . . . they have a duty to refer patients in a timely fashion if they do not feel comfortable providing a given service.” [snip]

As a result, I am somewhat skeptical about the standard of care offered to these mothers. I’m also skeptical when “personal beliefs” are pitted against evidence, therefore implying that a physician who is unwilling to perform an abortion has defied (“deviated” from) the evidence. I understand that many women face unbearably difficult choices in regards to the health of their babies. Some choose to terminate pregnancies because they have been given information about the near certainty of physical abnormalities leading to their child’s early death. And yet many women choose to terminate a pregnancy based upon probabilities, fear, and misinformation.

Seems to be the standard fare in women's health, considering many reproductive issues. All under the banner of freedom.

A mother's firm embrace

This Russian mother of quints found herself fighting for her children's lives against a medical establishment that insisted that sacrificial death was essential.

All five were said yesterday to be doing 'very well'. It is news the 29-year-old music teacher and her husband, Dimitri, a 28-year-old maths professor, could hardly dared to have expected when they learned that Varvara was carrying quintuplets as a result of fertility treatment.

The Artamkins were told by Russian doctors they would not treat Varvara unless she aborted two or three of her babies. They said the 'selective terminations' were essential to give the remaining babies a chance of survival.

Mr Artamkin's grandmother, Irina, 74, speaking from her home in the Russian capital, said yesterday: "They went to several maternity hospitals to ask them to take her on but the doctors kept saying they would only accept her on the condition that she terminated two or three of the babies.

Not an option for this couple, who are devout Christians.

"Our families are very religious people - Varvara's father is an archpriest - and the church teaches that abortion is murder. Varvara and Dimitri wanted all their babies and they would not agree to such a condition."

The couple, who have known each other since childhood, had already seen their first baby, a boy, die a month after being born prematurely.

I don't believe there's an ethical problem with fertility treatments per se, but the success will be mitigated by later calls for "reductions" (aka mandated deaths). I'm glad these parents stood firm, but the standard procedures show how cheap life is -- to be generated and then snuffed out. Consumerism at its worst.

Medicine of a different sort

Allah, as seen by Muslims, is defined  quite differently than our God, Who is Three Persons, but Allah is being asked to help the Missionaries of Charity, who are mystically espoused to Second Person of the Trinity. No matter. Their nuptial love has taken them to a country where all but 250 citizens follow Islam.

Sister Rosarius, an Indian, is trying to find a wheelchair for [Alia] Ibragimova. Rustam, Ibragimova's husband, told UCA News: "I will pray to Allah for the sisters all the time if they find a wheelchair for my wife. It will be the only way for her to move."

Taisia Lagunina, another resident, awaits cataract surgery. The 77-year-old widow was left alone in Tajikistan when her son went to Russia. "The sisters save my life," she told UCA News. "With my 43-somoni pension, I can't buy all the medicine I need. God bless them and their work."

Besides helping patients deal with medicinal and other needs, the nuns offer something less easily measurable as well. Brauer Elena, another patient, stressed this when she said, "The sisters help us a lot not only by buying the medicines we need but also by showing somebody cares about our lives."

Tangible love. Practical affection. Life-giving charity. The truths of our faith given flesh in Tajikstan. Mother Teresa, shower graces on this corner of the world and show them the true face of "Allah."

The Good Samaritan

A local priest offered a marvelous homily on the ethics surrounding life issues this past weekend, found here.

But a bit closer to our gospel this weekend, we can ask: How are we called to be Good Samaritans in the face of these challenging issues? Above all else, we should be available to help heal those who place so much of themselves in these poor and unethical choices.

When these terrible abuses of freedom fail…and they will… we need to be there to help people find true meaning and well founded hope for their future with God.

When the choice of abortion fails...and it will, and there are broken persons and broken lives, when people turn to Euthanasia as an option and discover that they have made a terrible and irrevocable choice, or when the empty promise of embryonic stem cell research fails…and it will …there has not been one single cure from embryonic stem cells. There have been hundreds of cures, tremendous results from adult stem cells, the obtaining of which are perfectly ethical and morally sound, but none whatsoever from embryonic stem cells. So when these choices end in failure and brokenness, then we have to be there to look upon our brothers and sisters with compassion and help them to come here.

We are called not to condemn them, but to love them, to look upon them with compassion and to bring them here, to the one place where Jesus Christ, the Good Samaritan, can pour oil and wine over their wounds and bring them healing, restoration and peace.

Cracks in the concrete

Two interesting tidbits on the internet found within five minutes of each other are linked in an extraordinary way. First, a comment in Agence-France Press about the dastardly one-child policy in China that has been in place since 1979 and the reaction of the young. It would appear that the desire to marry young has returned and the desire to procreate, perhaps "irresponsibly" (according to the State) cannot be suppressed for long.

National Population and Family Planning Commission director Zhang Weiqing said the number of rich people having more than one child is rapidly rising, citing a recent survey by his organisation. He also said early marriages are on the rise again in many rural parts of the country, Xinhua reported.

Separately, growing numbers of pregnant women are risking their own lives and those of their children by seeking back-alley deliveries to avoid fines for having more than one child, Xinhua quoted vice health minister Jiang Zuojun as saying.

Fines range from under 5,000 yuan (646 dollars) to 200,000 yuan (25,800 dollars) depending on the violator's location and income. Xinhua said about half of maternal deaths in east China's Jiangxi province resulted from illegal pregnancies.

How ironic is that? "Back alley" now refers to the clandestine attempts to give life, the effort for which women knowingly risk their lives. Fascinating -- no matter how you see the "population crisis."

Secondly, a young woman simply enjoying her own life and carefree existence has found physical torment from out of the blue as her reproductive years relentlessly slip away.

Around twenty-seven or twenty-eight, babies became more interesting. They were just more… interesting. It became mesmerizing to watch one in a room full of people and to wonder was it was doing; nothing else in the room was really quite as vivid as the baby. By twenty-nine it started to hurt. And by hurt I mean some in the way where you are denied something you really, really want. But I mean mostly in the way that it physically hurts me. It feels like hunger, if you never ever get enough food. My breasts ache if I hear a baby; my throat closes; my womb clenches and my arms hurt. It has been like this for years.

Her blog entry is painful reading, for her caginess about this suffering, the inability to end it, and the angst over whether it will destroy her ability to court calmly and go about finding motherhood in a rational and mature way.

I am PISSED I have a deadline on this. I never even chose to have this monkey on my back. But worse than the fact that I want kids like I want breath is the fact that I have to arrange that NOW. If I didn’t have a deadline for kids, I could wait until a guy came along naturally. I could live my amazingly good life and chat with you people and sing with Ali and play catch in the park until a boy with smiley eyes walked up to me. My life is GOOD, and I could do this indefinitely if I had all the time in the world to have kids.

But I don’t. So I have to up-end my life because there are only a few more years of possibility and they go fast....

Why this is a testament to life is that she did not seek it, but motherhood has stalked her. Much as it's stalking the Chinese proletariat couples -- much as little dandelions or buttercups force their way through the cracks in the sidewalk. Much as concrete itself can be broken to bits by stubborn weeds, which will do what weeds will do. Much as entire cities of glass and steel will be reduced to rubble when nature has its way.

My hearts break for those who are tormented by such pangs of desire, by the possibility of creation, rather than consoled and confirmed by it. Openness to life -- in the end -- will be creative, though in these circumstances it may not be the normal path. God will honour the desire to give life if we hand it to Him to guide. Prayers for all of those for whom motherhood has been conflicted, abused, or twisted. All will be well, somehow. Turn to God and trust.

Prayers answered!

There are a lot of sidewalk counselors who deserve our prayers and admiration. Their fidelity to their vocation has consequences that they are not always privileged to see. This story needs to be told. It is a wake up call, a shot in the arm, a reminder of why we have to be present.

It was early - the abortionist's staff hadn't yet arrived - but a car from out-state drove by slowly and parked high up in the coffee shop parking lot across the street. The couple looked older than the usual abortion clients but I realized that perhaps a daughter had been huddled in the back seat where I couldn't see her. They were parked there a long time and it was pretty obvious they were waiting for the abortuary to open. Because I was alone I stayed near the entrance of the clinic, available to talk to people coming in and showing my sign to passersby -- and frequently to the car across the street. After I had talked to three other girls going in for abortions, the car drove behind the building and out came a slight young blonde with her parents following meekly behind her.

Of course it was cold and windy; of course there was every temptation for this counselor to abandon the mission and find a warm refuge. Bless you for your words and your witness, Denny. Let's pray for these stalwart souls, and for those being dragged off to destruction. There is so much work to be done.

A peek at spiritual adoption

This story is lovely, and instructive in the way that we receive the love of God the Father.

I am racing across the frozen Russian tundra at 75 miles an hour, closer to the North Pole than to any major city. Yura, my Russian driver, is taking me ever closer to Ilana, a two-year-old resident of Apatity's Regional Specialized Baby Home. At this moment, Ilana is not yet aware that in just a few hours, her life -- and ours -- will change forever.

Although nearly 9:00 a.m., the Arctic January sky is still as dark as midnight. It is eerily quiet. And with Yura focused on navigating the difficult terrain, and my wife, Gayle, back in Murmansk awaiting our return, I am left mostly with my own thoughts.

Am I worthy to be this child's father? Will I be the role model she needs me to be? Will I be deserving of her trust, her love?

How blessed little Ilana is, and what a lovely bridge to God her father will be. Highly recommended.

A beautiful miracle amidst the darkness

This is a story that needed to be told, though it took decades for the details to slip out. It is about one of only two children to be born in Auschwitz and survive, through the courage and strength of motherly love.

Honor thy mother. That's the motto Angela Polgar has tried to live by all her life -- a life that began in a death camp. The place was Auschwitz-Birkenau, in southern Poland. Her parents, Hungarian Jews, arrived there on a Nazi transport on May 25, 1944.

Polgar's mother, Vera Bein, nee Otvos, was 25 years old at the time and almost two months pregnant.

The backdrop is sad, and so many didn't survive, but Angela lived and eventually thrived. Her mother's attempt to shelter her later is also heroic:

For the longest time, the family saga -- especially the Auschwitz part -- was kept private. The only public recounting came in the form of a short memoir, written in Angela Polgar's voice by her sister-in-law, a retired Montreal high schoolteacher named Marianne Polgar. It was published in a small Zionist journal in New York in 2000.

Then, last January, after a barrage of coverage in the media about the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, Polgar decided the time had come to let the whole story be told. Polgar also unearthed a precious resource: an old audio tape of her mother recounting her time at Auschwitz. It was an "interview" Vera gave her granddaughter, Katy, in 1984 for a high-school project. The tape -- her final word on the subject -- will soon be registered as part of the Auschwitz-Birkenau Museum's archives in Poland.

As testimonies go, it's a poignant one: words spoken over the telephone more than 25 years ago, a 30-minute inter-generational dialogue in which the subject sounds like she'd rather not be telling the innocent teenager just how horrible history can be. "My mother was so protective; she wouldn't let me read any Holocaust books, so this was my one-time shot to see what my grandmother could give me.

Well worth reading, even for the older children.

Women love the personal details

Perhaps everyone does, but most women will more readily admit it. Thus, imagine the satisfaction taken in these details about the family of Joaquin Navarro-Valls (Vatican spokesman since 1984):

Q: And what was your family of origin like?

A: "It was wonderful and close. My father, a liberal lawyer of great intellectual rigor, permitted me to become a doctor without insisting that I follow the juridical tradition of the family. My mother, who is now 91, was a mother through and through, devoted and affectionate. I wanted to unite both of their last names with a hyphen, in order to keep both of them always with me. And then there was my sister Assunta: it was wonderful to be with her."

Q: Your face lit up just then. Did you love your sister very much?

A: "I loved her very much, but she died suddenly of a brain aneurysm at the age of 35. She left four little children, and I was present when each of them was born."

Q: Now your face has become very troubled. It seems that this is still an open wound.

A: "It is. We were almost like a couple, with an extraordinary mutual understanding. She was just a year older than me, and we did everything together, we even danced together. When we were young, at parties people would ask us to perform the tango. My girlfriend would be there, too, but I danced with Assunta. It seems that we were quite good."

We pooh-pooh those who suggest that the Church doesn't honour women. How can it not, when the mothers and sisters have given such beauty and stability to the men who are charged with guiding the Barque of Peter. His mother remained in the home and dedicated herself to her five children. It was time and energy well-spent. We know our frailty -- and our worth. So do they.

And Navarro-Valls makes an excellent point about maturity and death, which we must consider:

Q: Doctor Navarro, even though you look very good for your age, you are 69 years old. Do you feel the sadness of declining?

A: "My reaction to growing old is rather one of surprise. Good grief, I say, I'm no longer capable of the great mastery in tennis that once was laughably easy. Am I perhaps out of training? No, I’m just getting old."

Q: And this doesn't make you afraid?

A: "Not at all. I look at the limitations of our culture, which experiences old age as an insult. Once the child making his first communion was dressed as an adult. Now the adults dress like children, and they are ridiculous. But the wonderful way in which the pope grew old may have been a corrective. He taught that life leads to death, but that this is not the final end of life."

Aging is the opportunity to become wise and to pass the wisdom along. The world doesn't need more mannequins and fashion plates -- it needs the feminine genius. Thank you, Dr Navarro-Valls for your dignified message. In his own words, concerning being a spokesman:

"Like an envelope with a message inside it. It needs to be attractive and the handwriting must be good, but it is only a container. Woe to anyone who confuses it with its contents."

Amen. Words we can all take to heart.