feminine-genius

I thought my subscription had lapsed...

The title to the email in my inbox was ""Au revoir, mademoiselle,"  and although I'm not single, I thought they were using a conventional form of flattery to remind me that it was time to renew my commitment to their excellent language site. Alas, non!

The decision comes after months of campaigning by two French feminist groups, Osez le féminisme! (Dare To Be Feminist!) and Les Chiennes de garde (The Watchdogs), who argue that the term places an unfair emphasis on a woman's marital status. Mademoiselle literally means "my young lady" (ma + demoiselle), just as madame comes from "my lady" and monsieur "my lord." Monsieur has long been used to identify both single and married men, as the archaic male equivalent of mademoiselle, mon damoiseau, never became an honorific title. Now madame will be used for all women, whether single or married, and is thus best translated as "Ms." instead of "Mrs."
  The Prime Minister's order will also replace nom de jeune fille (maiden name) and nom patronymique (patronymic) with nom de famille (family name), and nom d'époux/nom d'épouse (married name) with nom d'usage (used name).

Well, there you have it. Just as in English, the differentiation will be erased in official realms, though "Miss" is still used as a form of courtesy to those who look like they won't scowl at its kindliness.
Another victory for those with an axe to grind against sex differences and marriage itself. And although "au revoir" technically means "until we see each other again," we might not see this term restored in our lifetimes.

The Swedish utopia -- aint.

 

Nothing shocking, but only a confirmation of what we instinctively know about family relationships and what makes children (and parents) thrive. Full article here, including this discouraging information:

Sweden has offered a comprehensive daycare system since 1975; since the early '90s, negative outcomes for children and adolescents are on the rise in areas of health and behaviour. While direct causation has been difficult to prove, many Swedish health-care professionals point to the lack of parent involvement beyond the first 16 months as a primary contributing factor. Psychosomatic disorders and mild psychological problems are escalating among Swedish youth at a faster rate than in any of 11 comparable European countries. Such disorders have tripled among girls over the last 25 years. Education outcomes in Swedish schools have fallen from the top position 30 years ago, to merely average amongst OECD nations today. Behaviour problems in Swedish classrooms are among the worst in Europe.

After some more Q & A's with Mr Himmelstrand, we discover this plaintive voice in the combox:

Thank you Mr. H for telling it as it is!!! Here's a newsflash from a grown-up child who was in F-T daycare her whole childhood: Being outsourced makes you feel unloved, like your parents want to get rid of you in order to do more interesting things than spending time with you. Even if your parents *say* they love you, their actions speak louder. Parents, ask your little children what they think about daycare. If they scream, ''Mommy, daddy, don't leave me! Don't go!'', listen to your children!!! You'll save them from real emotional scars that last all life long, and here's talking from experience.

In Italy, no less

This is a terribly sad story on many levels:

A Pakistani woman has died in Italy after her husband beat her with a brick for opposing the arranged marriage of her daughter, triggering a wave of outrage among Italian politicians on Monday.

The daughter, 20-year-old Nosheen Butt, was admitted to hospital with a cranial traumatism and a broken arm after her 19-year-old brother beat her with a stick in the courtyard of their building in Novi, near the north Italy city of Modena.

According to Modena prosecutors' initial findings, the father Ahmad Khan Butt, a 53-year-old construction worker, threw his wife to the ground and beat her with a brick while the brother Umair attacked his sister.

"The victim did not want her daughter to have an unhappy relationship like the one that had been forced on her," said deputy Modena prosecutor Lucia Musti, who is in charge of the investigation.

"The mother and the daughter were on the same side and this could be called a 'cultural' homicide because in addition to domestic violence there is the issue of the traditions that may have motivated the crime," Ms Musti said.

The story goes on the say that the family had been in Italy around ten years, which leads us to a few points. While the account blames culture, culture comes from something -- from the root "cult." What do they worship? Joseph Pieper wrote on this to explain how that which a society worships will form its culture, or as a friend says, "Where is the marble?" (Hint: It used to be in our churches, now it's in our shopping malls.)

The Pakistani culture that this family imported when they came to Europe was formed by Islam, which allows both arranged marriages and wife beating -- both problematic in terms of women's dignity. But consider that the son has also lived roughly half his life in Italy, all the while holding fast to his father's example.

The deceased mother has been married for quite some time to a man capable of both giving his daughter away against her wishes and brutal homicide. Is it any wonder that she tried to preserve her daughter from the same fate? As she realised, once children come, you cannot simply walk away to preserve your own happiness. The children cement you to their father, and in this case, the die was cast.

"All civilisation passes by way of the family," John Paul II was fond of reminding us, and how very true. Until families are grounded on mutual respect, human dignity and authentic freedoms, we will have difficulty both with our promiscuous culture in the West and the mysogynists who push back in their own dark ways.

RIP, dear sister Begum. You gave your life for a just cause.

 

__________________________________

Sahih Muslim, Book 004, Number 2127:

...(the Holy Prophet) entered the (house), and said: Why is it, O 'A'isha, that you are out of breath? I said: There is nothing. He said: Tell me or the Subtle and the Aware would inform me. I said: Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be ransom for you, and then I told him (the whole story). He said: Was it the darkness (of your shadow) that I saw in front of me? I said: Yes. He [Muhammad] struck me on the chest which caused me pain, and then said: Did you think that Allah and His Apostle would deal unjustly with you?...

Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 72, Number 715:

Narrated 'Ikrima:

Rifa'a divorced his wife whereupon 'AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. 'Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, 'Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!"...

Slavery hasn't ended

From London's Telegraph:

If you are of the opinion that television has exhausted its power to shock, think again. Next Monday Channel 4 will show a drama set to truly stun audiences. Part of the channel’s Slavery season, I Am Slave is the story set in the present day of a young Sudanese woman, Malia, snatched from her village in the Nuba mountains and sold into domestic servitude, first in Khartoum, then in London. While the cruel treatment of 12-year-old Malia by her female master in Khartoum is deeply unsettling, what will make viewers’ jaws drop is seeing 18-year-old Malia’s enslavement against the backdrop of a gloomy British winter in a red brick London home, “so terribly familiar and rather boringly suburban,” says the film’s writer Jeremy Brock.

Some readers may remember that this also happened to Saint Josephine Bakhita, who was snatched as a child, ended up in Khartoum, and was eventually brought by her last master, the Italian ambassador, back to his home when his assignment ended. There she was freed and joined the Canossan Sisters.

This film has had an arduous seven-year path, since the television executives didn't think that it would hold an audience. Interestingly, once the slaves hit England, they virtually disappear into everyday life with few realising what's happening in their very midst. No shackles or bruises are visible -- this could happen next door without one knowing it. The hope is that this production will make westerners consider this their problem, too.

Mende Nazer's book is here, and we'll see if the movie becomes available in the United States. Prayers for these dear souls to find love and to discover the dignity that is theirs. I'll close with a couple paragraphs from my own book, which included a section on Sister Josephine's witness after her horrific ordeal:

It was her fifth owner, the Italian consul at Karthoum, who first showed her kindness and ultimately brought her to Europe, where she discovered Christ. While taking care of the young daughter of a family there, she was introduced to the Canossan Sisters with whom she eventually found a home as a religious sister. Fifty years of quiet consecrated life allowed her to witness to others the deep abiding peace that faith and forgiveness can bring. Seeing God’s hand even in the difficult path of her life, she noted, “If I was to meet those slave raiders that abducted me and those who tortured me, I'd kneel down to them to kiss their hands, because, if it had not been for them, I would not have become a Christian and religious woman.” At her beatification, Pope John Paul II praised her as “Our Universal Sister,” pointing out that she offers us “a message of reconciliation and evangelic forgiveness in a world so much divided and hurt by hatred and violence.” Note that Bakhita didn’t say that what the slave traders and her owners did to her was right – it most certainly was not. But she recognized that through her wounds she found salvation, which she could not ignored.

There are many forms of slavery, including those that do not have visible chains or leave outward marks. We suffer from them as long as we cannot name them, claim our own dignity which comes from being created in the image and likeness of God, and renounce them from holding us captive. The liberation that forgiveness can offer is as stark as the sundering of iron fetters and the opening of a prison door—it is for the one who suffers to choose freedom and wholeness of heart, despite her surroundings. The graces of God are available to all even in the darkest hours and each cross bears within it the seeds of Easter for those who cling to Christ.

That all may find this peace despite what they've suffered.

A delightful glimpse

While there is no mention of her faith, this obit details the very interesting life of a humble, sensible woman, and in turn points to other singular women about whom she wrote:

Throughout most of her husband's political career, Edna Healey devoted herself to raising the Healeys' three children and supporting her husband in his career. But after her children had grown up she made an independent career for herself as a historian and biographer.

Her first book, Lady Unknown (1978), was a biography of Angela Burdett-Coutts, the richest heiress in Victorian Britain who, after inheriting a fortune and the family bank at the age of 23, devoted her life to a great number of good causes. She became friend and patroness to numerous 19th-century intellectual and political luminaries, including the ageing Duke of Wellington (to whom she proposed marriage) and Charles Dickens, with whom she became involved in schemes to rescue child prostitutes and founded a home for fallen women.

Among others, she later wrote about Mary Livingstone, Jenny Marx and Emma Darwin. I may look up Mrs Healey's books when I get a moment, and am grateful to know that she found a way to live in the fishbowl of public life without it consuming her or her family. RIP, dear sister.

In response to the French bishops (updated)

I was, frankly, appalled that the French bishops came down so strongly on the side of burqas, and I've tried to state their justification and my response here. Regardless, I feel as though they've sold out women, marriage, complementarity and common sense (is that too harsh?)

 

UPDATE: The picture above is a better illustration of what the French are dealing with (not to mention the irony of that set-up). And I really like this comment offered at the site:

There are reasons we desire “face to face” interactions with others and want to see God’s face.

We are hard-wired for communion.

UPDATE II: And the French government is taking this approach. How interesting.

UPDATE III: More research shows that what was presented as a statment by the French bishops was actually only a statement by one bishop who is in charge of inter-religious dialogue. A little more palatable (since there's far less "authority" behind it, but still not an opinion I can agree with.)

Does Our Lady support veiling?

Although we've discussed veils in the past concerning Catholic women in the pews, now a Muslim convert in France is enlisting the Virgin Mary in her defense of the burqa -- as France debates a proposed ban on veils for all women. While I stand by all the arguments I made here (on a secular blog) I find it even more offensive from a religious standpoint that Muslims are allowed to pick and choose from Christianity what will bolster their arguments for their faith. We don't like that "cafeteria" mentality in our own pews, much less from folks outside the fold. Furthermore, to follow the thread of "what Mary did/wore/said" leaves out the bulk of who she really was and what we owe to her in terms of our salvation (and one doesn't even want to peek into the Islamic view of Jesus' conception, which is too vulgar for words).

As a convert myself, I understand the zealousness involved in embracing a new world view, but unfortunately the Muslima interviewed by the Beeb managed to throw most of the French under the bus along with any coherent Mariology. And sadly, no Christians in Europe have responded with a defense of the faith.

Abortion is "unpleasant"

Family and Life (out of England) has a horrific chunk of data concerning teenage girls, although those who understand Humanae Vitae will not be shocked.

Teenagers in the UK are using repeat abortions as a form of birth control, with some girls having four or more abortions by age 18, according to reports. Nearly 1,500 of the 19,000 girls under 18 who had an abortion last year had already had one abortion for an unwanted pregnancy—and at least one girl aborted her eighth baby.

But the exact details remain hidden from public scrutiny because of Government secrecy about abortion figures, owing to fears that mothers could be identified. Campaigners say the figures suggest that some girls see abortion not as a traumatic event but as a routine way of dispensing with an unwanted pregnancy, despite abortion’s dangers to their future fertility.

Pro-life campaigners argue that making abortions more available by letting them take place in GPs’ surgeries, has only furthered promiscuity among teens who don’t know the health and emotional risks they’re taking. Julia Millington of the Pro-Life Alliance commented, “When girls of 18 are having three, four or more abortions, we seriously need to question what is going on. It would seem abortion is being used as a form of contraception.

While some might use this as an invitation to step up the campaign for contraceptives, it only stands to reason that their wide availability added to the presumption of promiscuity has landed us here. Thus we have the body count in babies, the medical consequences of a wide range of STD's, sterility later, cervical and breast cancers, and the inevitable emotional scars of a generation of children who rut and kill.

Dr Kate Guthrie, consultant in sexual health and spokeswoman for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, said it shocked and saddened her to learn the repeat abortion figures. But, she added, “These girls are not the majority of under-18s. Women undergoing abortion do not find it pleasant and most make sure it does not happen again.”

Oh really? They adopt chastity? I haven't heard of that phenomenon. This is a doctor who obviously hasn't thought through the "do no harm" clause of her Hippocratic Oath -- but I imagine she's not alone there.