In the United States, there are a variety of charities and commemorations chosen each month, such as Black History Month (February) and National Fire Prevention Month (October). Many reveal difficult topics that must be addressed, such as bullying and brain injuries and domestic violence, but none is as startling as the escalating problem in Kyrgystan: Bride Kidnapping Prevention Month. There are at least 15,000 women snatched each year -- resulting in both mandatory marriage to the kidnapper (since she was with a stranger, and thus the situation requires normalisation) and a horrific divorce rate (at least half of the marriages break down -- which leads to some curious speculation about those that endure...)
The tradition began as a way of avoiding paying bride money or bypassing parental disapproval in the country which was largely nomadic until late in the Soviet era.
But men are now snatching women they don't know without their consent for abusive marriages that often end in divorce.
Once a woman has been kidnapped, her family is forced to agree to her marriage because she is compromised by her absence from home with a stranger.
"Bride kidnapping is a tradition of the Kyrgyz people, but these crimes often force women to commit suicide," Otunbayeva said at an event to mark the work of the prosecutor's office.
To date, not one man has ever been prosecuted, despite the fact that the activity is illegal. The hope that women will be free to choose a husband is a noble one, but if the current sentence of 3 years has never been applied, raising it to 10 years makes one dubious of their ability to really enforce it. The entrenched tradition and Muslim accomodation of the practice make it doubly difficult to fight, but bless this woman for trying.
Along similar lines, Pakistan has moved to criminalise an equally abhorent practice, the offer of a female family member to placate an enemy. It's called Sawra:
A word about how Sawra works: when someone is killed in a blood feud between tribes, the guilty party can make amends by giving his sister or daughter to the victim's family. The "peace token" is forcibly married to one of the victim's male relatives and usually will be treated as an object of recrimination and bitterness by her new family, which will work her like a slave.
This practice is also long-enshrined in tradition, and underscores the status of women as chattel to be bartered, stolen or bought. In the words of Guenivere of Camelot, who approached her own marriage with frustration: " I won't be bid and bargained for like beads in a bazaar!" Unfortunately, virtue lies in submission, not in standing up for justice:
As Sima Munir, a leader of the Awrat Foundation, a women's NGO working in Pakistan, tells Radio Mashaal, bartered brides face enormous social pressure to submit to their fate."Sawra is an inhuman tradition where girls are treated as animals after [forced] marriage," Munir says. "But whenever a woman asks for help against all this cruelty, the society does not regard her well for demanding her rights. The women who tolerate this cruelty are considered noble instead."
