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You want to hear something really crazy? Five months before getting married, my fiance and I purchased a house together, and I didn't move in until after our honeymoon! People at work thought I'd lost my mind. Almost 20 years later, five out of seven of the women in the firm got a divorce, the other never married... guess who is still together?


You go, Teresa!! That's awesome. Chesterton said that religion protects people from the "degrading slavery of being a child of one's age." Amen to that.

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Just read the whole article...you can see how traditional values used to protect women from their own naivete and/or stupidity:

"Dogs were part of the negotiations when Stacy Katz's first live-in relationship ended. She and her boyfriend had two dogs, and they were a big issue in dividing their property. Each took one."

Then Stacy went on to live with another guy, who ran up her credit card bill and didn't repay her. She also co-signed a car loan with the second guy, who let the insurance run out, had an accident, and couldn't pay for the repairs. "That hurt her credit rating."

Then, unbelievably, went onto live with a third guy. The second and third "relationships" lasted one year each, the article says. What does she have to show for any of those three shack ups, except what a fool she is? I feel bad for her, actually, but it's so incredible that women just don't seem to learn from the bad experiences of others!

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Amy Proctor

Excellent article! Very interesting comments as well. Based on appearances, money in this case, the woman is the loser. I agree with Joanne that women don't seem to learn from bad experiences, theirs or others. But I think men are big losers as well. For many reasons. They perpetuate, thanks to willing accomplices (women, bad stereotypes of themselves socially and even wound by their future relationships with a future wife because of their present pursuits. They also bring all the consequences of sin upon them.... while believing that women are the ones who really lose.

Fornication is bad for everyone. While some can pull it off and its a beautiful testimony to the grace of God when pre-marital sex couples make it and succeed, they are in the vast minority.


Thanks, Joanne (glad to see another Chesterton fan!), and Amy, you make a terrific point in pointing out the detriment to men in this position as well. I hadn't thought of the legacy it marks on a man after such a relationship and its effect on his future wife and children. Thank you.


I see it all the time among my patients. I don't get it why otherwise reasonable intelligent women allow themselves to be used and abused in this way.

I have been known to challenge these cohabiting couples to either marry or separate - especially when they are pregnant. I actually had one young woman tell me that she didn't think she was 'ready' to get married even though she and her SO had been living together for 5 years and had two children.

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    • From Benedict XVI
      “People have realized that the complete removal of the feminine element from the Christian message is a shortcoming from an anthropological viewpoint. It is theologically and anthropologically important for woman to be at the center of Christianity."
    • Anger and Patrimony (from Donna)
      This is just another of the unintended consequences of the cultural acceptance of contraception and abortion! Men's sexuality has been robbed of its creative essence. It is now viewed as something that imposes a burden on women (when conception happens to occur), something used to control women or something that is purely recreational. Why would men bother?? In taking away their responsibility, we've also robbed them of their significance! In the big picture of humanity, men have been made into nothing more than a nuisance women have to figure out how to control in order to bring about the next generation. Men don't see it as their task to protect the vulnerable because they see themselves as the vulnerable ones. A few well preserved vials of sperm would make men entirely obsolete in the world's ethos today!!
    • Excellent, Dom! (from Teresa)
      That is astounding Robin, and good for you for standing up. At the heart of that matter, I think, is even worse than a gender mixing message. There is an increased sharper and sharper focus on the "self." Solid Catholic teaching returns our focus away from ourselves to Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The original sin, Eve denied her womanhood when she desired to be like "gods." Since the only god she knew was the Father. Where was Adam? He stood impotent... in other words, they were divorced. There's a young girl at Robin's son's high school who was just told that she is the center of the universe and it's a tragic disservice to her.
    • Find the logic (from "me")
      Ditto what Mary said! A lot of high schools have very poor math and science depts, for boys and girls. I also am educated as a chemical engineer, but chose to teach the two years before we had children because its hours were more suited to spending time with children. (I was looking ahead). When it came time and I was pregnant with our first, I realized that I did not want to leave him with someone else, and was able to stay home full time. I am not sure it would have been that easy if we were used to another engineering income and not just a private school teacher income. Also some of my first job offers were out on oil rigs - I had no interest in that at all even though I enjoyed my engineering classes and did well in them. No one discouraged me from an engineering job, on the contrary I got a lot of flack for my decision not to pursue an engineering career.
    • Find the logic (from Mary)
      I've been lurking, but this is one that irritates me. Beats the heck out of me what these "barriers" are. I was educated as a chemical engineer, where 1/3 of our class was women. However, in electrical engineering, only 1 or 2 out of 30 were women. Is it possible that women are Just Not Interested in some areas? Nah, it must be The Man keeping us down so we must legislate (and, I agree -- when they say "legistlate", I hear "quota"). And actually, I have a friend that was also a chemical engineer. When she lost her job, she decided not to go back into engineering and started working from home so she could spend more time with her 3 kids. Also, if nothing else, there are all kinds of incentives for women to enter science and engineering -- scholarships not available to men, guaranteed housing on campuses that do not guarantee housing to the general population, etc. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that schools in general are not preparing students for the hard sciences. It is truly a sad state of affairs, the lack of science education these days.

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