feminine-genius

Communicating life

Short piece at Catholic Lane today:

The alignment of a few highly visible events this month provide an opportunity to consider the most important topic before us: life. There is the death of Apple founder, Steve Jobs; there is the 40 Days for Life campaign that takes place around the country; and finally there are the “Occupy” sit-ins around the country, beginning with Wall Street, but echoed in other cities from coast to coast.

Read it all, and please spread the word about that wonderful site. Comprehensive and Catholic -- all good, fresh every day!

Tragedy transformed I

As we approach a deeply emotional anniversary--the 10th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks--we'll be seeing more and more stories of how lives have been impacted over a decade by that tragic event. With the vantage of ten years, many families have found ways to take something horrific and bring new life from it.

This story about Lauren Grandcolas is one. Hers is unique because of her pregnancy--and although it added to the husband's grief, I don't think her child was included in the number of victims (2753). 

Jack, suddenly without his family, was thrust into a world of pain and loneliness, engulfed by a dark depression. It was Lauren's spirit, in many ways, that gave him the strength he needed to fight his way out of it. To honor her spirit, Jack and Lauren's family started the Lauren Catuzzi Grandcolas Foundation, a philanthropic organization that helps people attain their life goals. One of the foundation's key acts is financially supporting a state-of-the-art birthing room at Marin General Hospital in Greenbrae, Calif.

Do watch the video, and remember to pray for those who suffered so deeply from this action.

Another miracle (shhh, he's asleep!)

Please don't miss this marvelous testament to patience, docility, and faith. Yes, there were plenty of tears, but we expect those on this pilgrimage, don't we? And congratulations!

A unique gift of self

Cheryl Dickow has a lovely piece here about the generosity in sharing one's death with loved ones.

So when a person allows him or herself to become that “weak link” in the chain of life, he or she is actually becoming a conduit between heaven and earth. This person is saying, “This is incredibly difficult for me to rely on you, but I will trust that you have my best interests at heart and that you will not think ill of me.”  In that way, the person in need of care is allowing the potential caregiver(s) to become mercy and love to another human being.

This is a must-read, at some point, for we will all face such situations in our family circle. I don't think I've ever quite thought about dying from this angle, and you can see it requires intense humility on everyone's part.

"A love letter from heaven"

A local sidewalk counselor in Providence, RI had been frustrated with the ambiguity of some women coming and going -- she couldn't figure out if they had changed their minds or not. Feeling a little deflated, she asked God for some confirmation. Out of the blue, a cab driver drove up to her and provided just that:

"I've been seeing you people out here for a few years. Sometimes there's just one. I don't like that, when one of you is left alone. Or when there's no one. But anyway, you made me think. I asked myself why anyone would come out in the rain, the snow, the heat, the night, the morning...Even alone.

Even when people were mean to you. I figured what you were doing MEANT something big. Why else would you do it? I thought and I thought, and then I realized there wasn't much to think about. What you do, standing and praying and holding that sign, (Before I formed you in the womb I knew you), standing no matter what...that is enough. It speaks for itself. That's the message. It's true.

So when my daughter called from down South to tell me she was pregnant, I thought of you. And I never said 'abortion' to her. I just helped. Now I'm the grandfather of a two-year old. That baby is so important. No matter what.

And recently I got another phone call, from my younger daughter. She has lots of difficulties and worries. Illness, financial problems, abandonment, everything. She told me she was pregnant. I thought of you people. Again, I knew. I didn't say 'abortion'. She's 7 weeks pregnant. She's going to make it. We'll work it out.

So, just so you know? YOU HAVE AN IMPACT. Don't ever think it's for nothing. We see you, we think about what you're doing and why, and look what happens. It's a good thing, what you do."

"Forty Days for Life" is almost over, but perhaps you could offer a Lenten sacrifice and provide the witness that doesn't go unnoticed. You may never know the tremendous impact you make.

That "small dash"

LifeSiteNews provides this tremendous account by Patrick Craine:

August 17, 2009 - The mother who wrote last August sharing her choice of life for her unborn son with fetal abnormalities has written now, a year later, to share the powerful and moving story of her son's 'brief, beautiful life.'  Her letter was published in the Ottawa Citizen on Friday.

Last summer Genevieve Lanigan wrote to LifeSiteNews.com and Dr. Margaret Somerville, one of Canada's leading ethicists, to share her experience of choosing life for her unborn child. Genevieve and her husband, Barry, had discovered with great joy after 7 months of marriage that they were expecting. While Genevieve's pregnancy appeared to be progressing healthily, the couple were shocked to find out after their scheduled 20-week ultrasound that their child suffered from a hole in his brain stem, fluid in his brain, and a severe heart condition. 

Genevieve, a practicing Catholic and a teacher in a Catholic school, recounted how she was offered a 'termination' from her doctor, a 'treatment' that statistics show is all-too-often offered and accepted. In the case of babies diagnosed with Down syndrome for instance, the abortion rate is as high as 95% in some Western countries. For Gevenieve, however, "[this] was not an option."

The expectant mother persevered in choosing life, not knowing how long her child would live.  "The little one in my womb is moving around, kicking his mother, and hopefully enjoying a refreshing swim," she wrote at the time.  "I am carrying this baby as long as he will let me, and will not be the killing hand."

Pledging not to pursue extraordinary means, she said, "Our prayer is simple: That we will get to meet our little one, tell him that we love him, and watch him fall deep into a sleep that will bring him to heaven."

Genevieve wrote to Citizen readers on Friday, responding to requests from readers to find out the end of the story. "Dr. Somerville has told me that many people have been wondering how the pregnancy ended," she writes.  "So, I would like to tell you that part of our story, which I lovingly sum up as 'A Beautiful Life: 30 Days of Pure Love.'"

In early September 2008, less than a month after her first letter, Genevieve went into labour, at around 35 weeks gestation.  "At 11:30 p.m.," she says, "4-lbs.-11-oz. Joseph Earl Francis was born via C-section and handed directly to his father, breathing on his own, and heart beating strongly. Barry and I quickly fell even more in love with him."

Kept in hospital for several days after the birth, little Joseph "was the centre of attention for each of his visitors who held and kissed him all hours of the day and night."

"On the Monday following his birth ... we were able to take Joseph home to live out the rest of his life and to die peacefully," she says.  "Once a week, members of a palliative care team visited Joseph, assessed his heart and lungs, and helped us to prepare for his death."

"For three weeks at home in Rockport," she goes on, "Joseph continued to astound people with his perfectness and gentleness as he had at the hospital.  His popularity never dwindled and he was held without complaint almost all of his life. He made valiant efforts to nurse and we felt he was fully present with family and friends."

Joseph's life, though brief, was filled with joy.  "For each day of his life, Joseph entertained no less than two visitors a day, was read to, sang to, and told over and over again that he was the cutest baby in the whole wide world," Genevieve says.

Loved and nurtured by his family, Joseph's pain worsened leading up to his death.  "On the weekend before his death," she recounts, "Joseph struggled with the pain he must have felt from the worsening of his head condition that caused both the shape of his skull and weight of his head to change. Two days before his death he was given morphine for pain, and though he still seemed somewhat content, it was clear that his time on earth would soon end.

"At 11:30 a.m. on the first day of October 2008," she says, "after being read to and kissed by many of his family members, Joseph went to rest forever in his daddy's arms."

"The 30 days of our son's life will never be forgotten by our family and the many friends who supported us on our journey," she says.  "Looking back, we regret nothing. ... We are pleased that we gave him the chance to live and that we loved him the best way we knew how. ... Sad as we are to live without him, we feel grateful that he is a saint in Heaven, bearing no pain and feeling ultimate love."

She concludes her letter by reflecting on the comments of a friend, who "thinks the small dash on gravestones that indicates the 'between' of birth and death can explode with meaning depending on the life attitude one chooses."

"Upon reflection," she says, "I figure that regardless of the short distance between the dates before and after his dash, Joseph's dash counts because it signifies love; love to stay living inside my womb, love to meet us; love to fight for his life; and love to die peacefully when it was time. His was a beautiful life -- 30 days of pure love that sure did count."

 

Playing God

The title may sound harsh, but it appears to be an element in the backs of some minds, especially those who arbitrate exactly how many children to have, leaving the number deliberately at exactly, um, one. The setting in which two souls meet and marry and remain open to God's will--only to be blessed with a solitary child--is vastly different than the couple who arrange their lives to have a single child as requisite ornament, and it's not for us to judge on which end of the spectrum the one-child family falls. That said, this article is interesting in its take on only children (now comprising 26 % of children) who often bear a stigma, come to various conclusions about their existence, and carry great expectations about they way others should treat them.

A brief and totally unscientific survey of only children in our neighbourhood reveals that while one of them would quite like a baby brother, the other two are in no hurry to see their family enlarged. "All the brothers and sisters I know seem to argue with each other," says one 13-year-old boy. "I can do without that." In years to come, though, will he still feel the same way?

Quite possibly not, says Dorset-based psychotherapist  Bernice Sorensen, founder of the website www.onlychild.org.uk. "The reason I set up my site in the first place was because I got all these approaches from adults who, as life went on, had become more and more aware of their only-childness and the feeling that they had somehow missed out," says Sorensen, herself an only child.

An orphan who finds tremendous strength and a deepened faith by his exile from a normal home is no justification for ripping apart families; just as the resolve John McCain garnered by his time as a POW doesn't justify prison abuse. Grace flows where it will to heal the wounds of tragedies: the greater good would be to avoid the tragedy in the first place. Children, interestingly, have a sense about their conception and whether or not a welcome mat rests outside the door. Married love was meant to be fruitful, and those who cannot see that often have difficulty treating life as the gift that it is. God provides what is necessary, but when new life is seen primarily in terms of its £186,000 price tag, it's hard to understand its true value.

Tremendous witness

In this generation, no one would have batted an eye if Trig had never been born. His mother is very busy (governor of Alaska), she already has four children, and he's part of a segment of society especially sought out for destruction. Despite all of this,the family finds him a rare gift:

Testing during early pregnancy revealed the baby had Down’s Syndrome.  Governor [Sarah] Palin said she was sad at first, but her family now feels blessed that God chose them.

The family released a statement which said, “Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed.”

She carried this child (and the forboding news) beneath her heart for months, and somehow found peace enough to carry on with strenuous work, a growing family, and a daunting challenge on the horizon. I pray that many see that children with Down's Syndrome come with their own graces, as so many other families have discovered. That many may live because of her brave witness.