August 17, 2009 - The mother who wrote last August sharing her choice of life for her unborn son with fetal abnormalities has written now, a year later, to share the powerful and moving story of her son's 'brief, beautiful life.' Her letter was published in the Ottawa Citizen on Friday.
Last summer Genevieve Lanigan wrote to LifeSiteNews.com and Dr. Margaret Somerville, one of Canada's leading ethicists, to share her experience of choosing life for her unborn child. Genevieve and her husband, Barry, had discovered with great joy after 7 months of marriage that they were expecting. While Genevieve's pregnancy appeared to be progressing healthily, the couple were shocked to find out after their scheduled 20-week ultrasound that their child suffered from a hole in his brain stem, fluid in his brain, and a severe heart condition.
Genevieve, a practicing Catholic and a teacher in a Catholic school, recounted how she was offered a 'termination' from her doctor, a 'treatment' that statistics show is all-too-often offered and accepted. In the case of babies diagnosed with Down syndrome for instance, the abortion rate is as high as 95% in some Western countries. For Gevenieve, however, "[this] was not an option."
The expectant mother persevered in choosing life, not knowing how long her child would live. "The little one in my womb is moving around, kicking his mother, and hopefully enjoying a refreshing swim," she wrote at the time. "I am carrying this baby as long as he will let me, and will not be the killing hand."
Pledging not to pursue extraordinary means, she said, "Our prayer is simple: That we will get to meet our little one, tell him that we love him, and watch him fall deep into a sleep that will bring him to heaven."
Genevieve wrote to Citizen readers on Friday, responding to requests from readers to find out the end of the story. "Dr. Somerville has told me that many people have been wondering how the pregnancy ended," she writes. "So, I would like to tell you that part of our story, which I lovingly sum up as 'A Beautiful Life: 30 Days of Pure Love.'"
In early September 2008, less than a month after her first letter, Genevieve went into labour, at around 35 weeks gestation. "At 11:30 p.m.," she says, "4-lbs.-11-oz. Joseph Earl Francis was born via C-section and handed directly to his father, breathing on his own, and heart beating strongly. Barry and I quickly fell even more in love with him."
Kept in hospital for several days after the birth, little Joseph "was the centre of attention for each of his visitors who held and kissed him all hours of the day and night."
"On the Monday following his birth ... we were able to take Joseph home to live out the rest of his life and to die peacefully," she says. "Once a week, members of a palliative care team visited Joseph, assessed his heart and lungs, and helped us to prepare for his death."
"For three weeks at home in Rockport," she goes on, "Joseph continued to astound people with his perfectness and gentleness as he had at the hospital. His popularity never dwindled and he was held without complaint almost all of his life. He made valiant efforts to nurse and we felt he was fully present with family and friends."
Joseph's life, though brief, was filled with joy. "For each day of his life, Joseph entertained no less than two visitors a day, was read to, sang to, and told over and over again that he was the cutest baby in the whole wide world," Genevieve says.
Loved and nurtured by his family, Joseph's pain worsened leading up to his death. "On the weekend before his death," she recounts, "Joseph struggled with the pain he must have felt from the worsening of his head condition that caused both the shape of his skull and weight of his head to change. Two days before his death he was given morphine for pain, and though he still seemed somewhat content, it was clear that his time on earth would soon end.
"At 11:30 a.m. on the first day of October 2008," she says, "after being read to and kissed by many of his family members, Joseph went to rest forever in his daddy's arms."
"The 30 days of our son's life will never be forgotten by our family and the many friends who supported us on our journey," she says. "Looking back, we regret nothing. ... We are pleased that we gave him the chance to live and that we loved him the best way we knew how. ... Sad as we are to live without him, we feel grateful that he is a saint in Heaven, bearing no pain and feeling ultimate love."
She concludes her letter by reflecting on the comments of a friend, who "thinks the small dash on gravestones that indicates the 'between' of birth and death can explode with meaning depending on the life attitude one chooses."
"Upon reflection," she says, "I figure that regardless of the short distance between the dates before and after his dash, Joseph's dash counts because it signifies love; love to stay living inside my womb, love to meet us; love to fight for his life; and love to die peacefully when it was time. His was a beautiful life -- 30 days of pure love that sure did count."
Comments
“People have realized that the complete removal of the feminine element from the Christian message is a shortcoming from an anthropological viewpoint. It is theologically and anthropologically important for woman to be at the center of Christianity."
This is just another of the unintended consequences of the cultural acceptance of contraception and abortion! Men's sexuality has been robbed of its creative essence. It is now viewed as something that imposes a burden on women (when conception happens to occur), something used to control women or something that is purely recreational. Why would men bother?? In taking away their responsibility, we've also robbed them of their significance! In the big picture of humanity, men have been made into nothing more than a nuisance women have to figure out how to control in order to bring about the next generation. Men don't see it as their task to protect the vulnerable because they see themselves as the vulnerable ones. A few well preserved vials of sperm would make men entirely obsolete in the world's ethos today!!
That is astounding Robin, and good for you for standing up. At the heart of that matter, I think, is even worse than a gender mixing message. There is an increased sharper and sharper focus on the "self." Solid Catholic teaching returns our focus away from ourselves to Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The original sin, Eve denied her womanhood when she desired to be like "gods." Since the only god she knew was the Father. Where was Adam? He stood impotent... in other words, they were divorced. There's a young girl at Robin's son's high school who was just told that she is the center of the universe and it's a tragic disservice to her.
Ditto what Mary said! A lot of high schools have very poor math and science depts, for boys and girls. I also am educated as a chemical engineer, but chose to teach the two years before we had children because its hours were more suited to spending time with children. (I was looking ahead). When it came time and I was pregnant with our first, I realized that I did not want to leave him with someone else, and was able to stay home full time. I am not sure it would have been that easy if we were used to another engineering income and not just a private school teacher income. Also some of my first job offers were out on oil rigs - I had no interest in that at all even though I enjoyed my engineering classes and did well in them. No one discouraged me from an engineering job, on the contrary I got a lot of flack for my decision not to pursue an engineering career.
I've been lurking, but this is one that irritates me. Beats the heck out of me what these "barriers" are. I was educated as a chemical engineer, where 1/3 of our class was women. However, in electrical engineering, only 1 or 2 out of 30 were women. Is it possible that women are Just Not Interested in some areas? Nah, it must be The Man keeping us down so we must legislate (and, I agree -- when they say "legistlate", I hear "quota"). And actually, I have a friend that was also a chemical engineer. When she lost her job, she decided not to go back into engineering and started working from home so she could spend more time with her 3 kids. Also, if nothing else, there are all kinds of incentives for women to enter science and engineering -- scholarships not available to men, guaranteed housing on campuses that do not guarantee housing to the general population, etc. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that schools in general are not preparing students for the hard sciences. It is truly a sad state of affairs, the lack of science education these days.