feminine-genius

Nature abhors a vacuum

In the collaborative relationship between men and women, since the men are stronger it has commonly been understood that men protect the women they love. This means a husband protects his wife and daughters, a brother his sisters, a son his mother. There is no disparagement of women in this--their intellect is equal, and while their strength varies, when a woman is pregnant or nursing, devoted to the care of her dependents, or aging, it makes sense for her to depend on men who are not physically compromised.

But what if there are no men in her life? How is that possible? And where does she turn? A frightening statistic has emerged from Sweden that shows the vulnerability of women in the face of male aggression: 

In the first seven months of 2013, over 1,000 Swedish women reported being raped by Muslim immigrants in the capital city of Stockholm. Over 300 of those were under the age of 15. The number of rapes is up 16% so far this year compared to 2012 numbers. A large proportion of the increase include rape of young [pre-teen] girls. 

To add to the horror, it is estimated that only 10-20% of sexual assaults are even reported to the police--and this is only one city. I remember reading a few years ago that many female students felt so vulnerable, they literally ran from where the school bus dropped them in the afternoons to their homes where they locked themselves in until their mums returned from work. (This data shows that a full quarter of Swedish women change their travel habits for fear of crime.)

Another statistic has to be considered: the majority of children in Sweden (and other Nordic countries) are born out of wedlock. While the father may be in the home, there may be no marriage bond, and of course the man in the home may not be the biological father of the children in the home. Furthermore, Sweden has one of the highest rates of female employment in the world (although feminists are not happy with the breakdown among industries, and they lament that the bulk of household chores and childcare are still left to women). So women work, they have fully-subsidised childcare for children aged one and over, and marriage is simply an option that may be considered after one or two children.

What is missing in the entire equation? The importance of fatherhood. There is the priority of statistical parity for women, there is the government provision of childcare, and there is companionship between men and women when it suits, but there is currently no imbedded cultural construct for men other than as erstwhile partners for women. The government's goals are clear:

Women and men must have the same power to shape society and their own lives. This is the overall goal for gender equality policy. To reach this goal we need to have the knowledge about the situation of women and men in society. With the help of facts in the form of statistics we can follow the terms of women and men in a number of areas. The statistics can be used in gender equality analyses that are needed to integrate a gender equality perspective in all activities.

Whither fatherhood? In this statistical game, a father's protective care for his offspring (or others!) is reduced to numbers on a spreadsheet, and who is harmed? Thousands of women and girls assaulted each year. If fathers are absent, then where can these girls turn? As it stands, neither the state nor the UN will address the horror. Saint Joseph, pray for us!

 

Worthless and worth less

Miriam Clegg (attorney, wife of deputy Prime Minister) has reminded British women that they can do anything--be anything they want; and yet one mother, en route to Oxford University with her 10-yr-old daughter, was perplexed:

On the train, though, I read with horror that it is now legal for couples to abort babies simply because they are girls. How to explain this to my daughter? How to tell her that we now live in a country where girls, because of their sex, can be prevented from being born? The words of Miriam Clegg suddenly rang hollow. She talked of learning and professional achievement – yet there are girls killed in the womb simply because of their unwanted sex.

I wanted to respond to this outrage – but calmed myself with the thought that a million feminists would jump in and shout about this injustice. In the campaign for equal rights, surely the right to exist is the biggest right of all.

In vain, I looked last night for reactions among feminists. All I saw was a bunch of bouquets for the Miriam Clegg line about girls aiming for the stars. Yes of course they should – but they can't if they are not allowed to be born in the first place.

Yes, there's a big empty space where that outrage should be. And, ironically, part of it is due to the shallow "grrl power" message that Ms Clegg offers, in which she decries the lack of role models for young women. Following the male model of "careerism," she leads the charge that girls must "do something," and "shine brightly!" So she's launching an initiative which will cater to girls (who, evidently, haven't benefited enough by all the attention over the last 50 years).

As long as a person's value is based primarily on doing, and not being, girls will be second-class citizens. The yawning divide will remain between those who think women are worthless, and those who think that women who don't "reach the stars!" are worth less. Feminists who are busy with statistics based on achievements don't rank the unborn in their equations because:

1. they cannot achieve anything yet, being so dependent on others; and 
2. they hinder the mother from achieving Stuff That Matters (TM)

Why not simply meet in the middle? The feminists need to learn to chill, and to value motherhood, which has such a decisive influence on the culture; and those who want to abort girls need to be educated about the intrinsic worth of all persons, regardless of what they will accomplish. The simple fact is that our existence is a gift. We have been redeemed by God, whose Image we all bear.

As for role models for girls, the Church is chock-full of them. They're called saints. 

ADDENDUM: Columnist Sarah Ditum effectively sums up the callous stance supporting sex-selection abortions:

“In a world where it’s possible to end a pregnancy safely and legally, it seems like rank brutality to force anyone to carry to term against her will.” While admitting that her position may make her “sound like a radical,” she added, “It’s the woman’s say that counts, and even the most terrible reason for having an abortion holds more sway than the best imaginable reason for compelling a woman to carry to term.”

I thought my subscription had lapsed...

The title to the email in my inbox was ""Au revoir, mademoiselle,"  and although I'm not single, I thought they were using a conventional form of flattery to remind me that it was time to renew my commitment to their excellent language site. Alas, non!

The decision comes after months of campaigning by two French feminist groups, Osez le féminisme! (Dare To Be Feminist!) and Les Chiennes de garde (The Watchdogs), who argue that the term places an unfair emphasis on a woman's marital status. Mademoiselle literally means "my young lady" (ma + demoiselle), just as madame comes from "my lady" and monsieur "my lord." Monsieur has long been used to identify both single and married men, as the archaic male equivalent of mademoiselle, mon damoiseau, never became an honorific title. Now madame will be used for all women, whether single or married, and is thus best translated as "Ms." instead of "Mrs."
  The Prime Minister's order will also replace nom de jeune fille (maiden name) and nom patronymique (patronymic) with nom de famille (family name), and nom d'époux/nom d'épouse (married name) with nom d'usage (used name).

Well, there you have it. Just as in English, the differentiation will be erased in official realms, though "Miss" is still used as a form of courtesy to those who look like they won't scowl at its kindliness.
Another victory for those with an axe to grind against sex differences and marriage itself. And although "au revoir" technically means "until we see each other again," we might not see this term restored in our lifetimes.

The Swedish utopia -- aint.

 

Nothing shocking, but only a confirmation of what we instinctively know about family relationships and what makes children (and parents) thrive. Full article here, including this discouraging information:

Sweden has offered a comprehensive daycare system since 1975; since the early '90s, negative outcomes for children and adolescents are on the rise in areas of health and behaviour. While direct causation has been difficult to prove, many Swedish health-care professionals point to the lack of parent involvement beyond the first 16 months as a primary contributing factor. Psychosomatic disorders and mild psychological problems are escalating among Swedish youth at a faster rate than in any of 11 comparable European countries. Such disorders have tripled among girls over the last 25 years. Education outcomes in Swedish schools have fallen from the top position 30 years ago, to merely average amongst OECD nations today. Behaviour problems in Swedish classrooms are among the worst in Europe.

After some more Q & A's with Mr Himmelstrand, we discover this plaintive voice in the combox:

Thank you Mr. H for telling it as it is!!! Here's a newsflash from a grown-up child who was in F-T daycare her whole childhood: Being outsourced makes you feel unloved, like your parents want to get rid of you in order to do more interesting things than spending time with you. Even if your parents *say* they love you, their actions speak louder. Parents, ask your little children what they think about daycare. If they scream, ''Mommy, daddy, don't leave me! Don't go!'', listen to your children!!! You'll save them from real emotional scars that last all life long, and here's talking from experience.

In Italy, no less

This is a terribly sad story on many levels:

A Pakistani woman has died in Italy after her husband beat her with a brick for opposing the arranged marriage of her daughter, triggering a wave of outrage among Italian politicians on Monday.

The daughter, 20-year-old Nosheen Butt, was admitted to hospital with a cranial traumatism and a broken arm after her 19-year-old brother beat her with a stick in the courtyard of their building in Novi, near the north Italy city of Modena.

According to Modena prosecutors' initial findings, the father Ahmad Khan Butt, a 53-year-old construction worker, threw his wife to the ground and beat her with a brick while the brother Umair attacked his sister.

"The victim did not want her daughter to have an unhappy relationship like the one that had been forced on her," said deputy Modena prosecutor Lucia Musti, who is in charge of the investigation.

"The mother and the daughter were on the same side and this could be called a 'cultural' homicide because in addition to domestic violence there is the issue of the traditions that may have motivated the crime," Ms Musti said.

The story goes on the say that the family had been in Italy around ten years, which leads us to a few points. While the account blames culture, culture comes from something -- from the root "cult." What do they worship? Joseph Pieper wrote on this to explain how that which a society worships will form its culture, or as a friend says, "Where is the marble?" (Hint: It used to be in our churches, now it's in our shopping malls.)

The Pakistani culture that this family imported when they came to Europe was formed by Islam, which allows both arranged marriages and wife beating -- both problematic in terms of women's dignity. But consider that the son has also lived roughly half his life in Italy, all the while holding fast to his father's example.

The deceased mother has been married for quite some time to a man capable of both giving his daughter away against her wishes and brutal homicide. Is it any wonder that she tried to preserve her daughter from the same fate? As she realised, once children come, you cannot simply walk away to preserve your own happiness. The children cement you to their father, and in this case, the die was cast.

"All civilisation passes by way of the family," John Paul II was fond of reminding us, and how very true. Until families are grounded on mutual respect, human dignity and authentic freedoms, we will have difficulty both with our promiscuous culture in the West and the mysogynists who push back in their own dark ways.

RIP, dear sister Begum. You gave your life for a just cause.

 

__________________________________

Sahih Muslim, Book 004, Number 2127:

...(the Holy Prophet) entered the (house), and said: Why is it, O 'A'isha, that you are out of breath? I said: There is nothing. He said: Tell me or the Subtle and the Aware would inform me. I said: Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be ransom for you, and then I told him (the whole story). He said: Was it the darkness (of your shadow) that I saw in front of me? I said: Yes. He [Muhammad] struck me on the chest which caused me pain, and then said: Did you think that Allah and His Apostle would deal unjustly with you?...

Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 72, Number 715:

Narrated 'Ikrima:

Rifa'a divorced his wife whereupon 'AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. 'Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, 'Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!"...

Slavery hasn't ended

From London's Telegraph:

If you are of the opinion that television has exhausted its power to shock, think again. Next Monday Channel 4 will show a drama set to truly stun audiences. Part of the channel’s Slavery season, I Am Slave is the story set in the present day of a young Sudanese woman, Malia, snatched from her village in the Nuba mountains and sold into domestic servitude, first in Khartoum, then in London. While the cruel treatment of 12-year-old Malia by her female master in Khartoum is deeply unsettling, what will make viewers’ jaws drop is seeing 18-year-old Malia’s enslavement against the backdrop of a gloomy British winter in a red brick London home, “so terribly familiar and rather boringly suburban,” says the film’s writer Jeremy Brock.

Some readers may remember that this also happened to Saint Josephine Bakhita, who was snatched as a child, ended up in Khartoum, and was eventually brought by her last master, the Italian ambassador, back to his home when his assignment ended. There she was freed and joined the Canossan Sisters.

This film has had an arduous seven-year path, since the television executives didn't think that it would hold an audience. Interestingly, once the slaves hit England, they virtually disappear into everyday life with few realising what's happening in their very midst. No shackles or bruises are visible -- this could happen next door without one knowing it. The hope is that this production will make westerners consider this their problem, too.

Mende Nazer's book is here, and we'll see if the movie becomes available in the United States. Prayers for these dear souls to find love and to discover the dignity that is theirs. I'll close with a couple paragraphs from my own book, which included a section on Sister Josephine's witness after her horrific ordeal:

It was her fifth owner, the Italian consul at Karthoum, who first showed her kindness and ultimately brought her to Europe, where she discovered Christ. While taking care of the young daughter of a family there, she was introduced to the Canossan Sisters with whom she eventually found a home as a religious sister. Fifty years of quiet consecrated life allowed her to witness to others the deep abiding peace that faith and forgiveness can bring. Seeing God’s hand even in the difficult path of her life, she noted, “If I was to meet those slave raiders that abducted me and those who tortured me, I'd kneel down to them to kiss their hands, because, if it had not been for them, I would not have become a Christian and religious woman.” At her beatification, Pope John Paul II praised her as “Our Universal Sister,” pointing out that she offers us “a message of reconciliation and evangelic forgiveness in a world so much divided and hurt by hatred and violence.” Note that Bakhita didn’t say that what the slave traders and her owners did to her was right – it most certainly was not. But she recognized that through her wounds she found salvation, which she could not ignored.

There are many forms of slavery, including those that do not have visible chains or leave outward marks. We suffer from them as long as we cannot name them, claim our own dignity which comes from being created in the image and likeness of God, and renounce them from holding us captive. The liberation that forgiveness can offer is as stark as the sundering of iron fetters and the opening of a prison door—it is for the one who suffers to choose freedom and wholeness of heart, despite her surroundings. The graces of God are available to all even in the darkest hours and each cross bears within it the seeds of Easter for those who cling to Christ.

That all may find this peace despite what they've suffered.

A delightful glimpse

While there is no mention of her faith, this obit details the very interesting life of a humble, sensible woman, and in turn points to other singular women about whom she wrote:

Throughout most of her husband's political career, Edna Healey devoted herself to raising the Healeys' three children and supporting her husband in his career. But after her children had grown up she made an independent career for herself as a historian and biographer.

Her first book, Lady Unknown (1978), was a biography of Angela Burdett-Coutts, the richest heiress in Victorian Britain who, after inheriting a fortune and the family bank at the age of 23, devoted her life to a great number of good causes. She became friend and patroness to numerous 19th-century intellectual and political luminaries, including the ageing Duke of Wellington (to whom she proposed marriage) and Charles Dickens, with whom she became involved in schemes to rescue child prostitutes and founded a home for fallen women.

Among others, she later wrote about Mary Livingstone, Jenny Marx and Emma Darwin. I may look up Mrs Healey's books when I get a moment, and am grateful to know that she found a way to live in the fishbowl of public life without it consuming her or her family. RIP, dear sister.

In response to the French bishops (updated)

I was, frankly, appalled that the French bishops came down so strongly on the side of burqas, and I've tried to state their justification and my response here. Regardless, I feel as though they've sold out women, marriage, complementarity and common sense (is that too harsh?)

 

UPDATE: The picture above is a better illustration of what the French are dealing with (not to mention the irony of that set-up). And I really like this comment offered at the site:

There are reasons we desire “face to face” interactions with others and want to see God’s face.

We are hard-wired for communion.

UPDATE II: And the French government is taking this approach. How interesting.

UPDATE III: More research shows that what was presented as a statment by the French bishops was actually only a statement by one bishop who is in charge of inter-religious dialogue. A little more palatable (since there's far less "authority" behind it, but still not an opinion I can agree with.)