Morning Star

Phyllis Chesler

I have read a good bit of what Phyllis Chesler has written over the years, but I had no idea that she was previously married to a man from Afghanistan. She has a new book out, An American Bride in Kabul, detailing a very painful chapter in her life that took place around 1959, the story that she previously kept to herself:

For our honeymoon, we travel around Europe with a plan to stop off in Kabul to meet his family. I did not know that this would be our final destination.

When we land, 30 relatives await our arrival. Among them, not one but three mothers-in-law. I am too shocked to speak, too shocked to question what these three women might mean for my future.

I learn that my real mother-in-law, Abdul-Kareem’s biological mother, is only my father-in-law’s first wife. Her name is Bebugul.

There are bear hugs and kisses all around. The family is warm and inviting — I try to forget about my husband’s glaring omission.

But before the caravan of black Mercedes-Benzes can leave, an airport official demands that I turn over my American passport.

Ms Chesler was a leading feminist thinker in the earliest days of the movement, and thus she and I would have very little in common when it comes to faith and family, but I respect her intensity and integrity. When we wonder why feminists don't speak out about the misogyny inherent in Islam, we have to remember that some do, for some can draw straight lines concerning human dignity without bowing to the usual dictates of the academy.

Women as chattel

In eastern Afghanistan and parts of Pakistan, the notion has become ingrained, for some reason, that women are the possession of men -- fathers, husbands, sons, or other male relations when necessary.  Thus, it only stands to reason that possessions can be bartered, traded or sold according to their value:

The sale and exchange of women as goods is rampant in Afghanistan's eastern Nangarhar province with as many as two women traded per day, according to the findings of a sociology researcher.

In a report obtained by TOLOnews, researcher Assadullah Ahmadi stated that he found some women had been traded up to five times in three Nangarhar districts – Rodat, Mohmand, and Shinwar – as part of the socially-accepted use of wives and daughters as possessions.

"It is [happening] in Mohmand and Rodat, and all of the Shinwar, and the spot of sale is the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan," Ahmadi said.

"This is a society where its clerics speak out against Nowruz, against new year, and almost anything else. But we see that the average of women sold in Nangarhar is two per day," he added, suggesting that the Islamic clerics were ignoring the practice.

In his report, Ahmadi says that the eastern Afghan women were often sold across the border into Pakistan and usually for less than the cost of a mule.

"There are even women that have been sold three to five times and in some cases sold along with their daughters. When we went to them, we came to know their price is less than a mule," he said.

Where does Islam stand on this? It can be confusing, because apparently some clerics do speak against the practice, but the question would be, Why? Are they saying that Islam forbids it? Or that it harms the women? The latter would be a compassionate argument, but it doesn't undermine the authority which is contained in Islam, and which is not ordered to the feelings of women. In fact, one Islamic tradition even allows for a form of prostitution that allows "temporary marriage" for a price.

"There is no doubt that women are being sold, and for three reasons: past practices, poverty, and illiteracy. The women whose husbands doubt them, the women that are not liked by their husbands, and the women whose husbands are poor are sold. However they are not sold as servants but they do the Nikah," said Dai-ul-Haq Abed, deputy minister of Hajj and Religious Affairs.

The Nikah is the temporary or fixed-term marriage allowed in Islam under certain conditions.

"In a discussion with the Hajj and Religious Affairs of Shinwar, they told us that it's a very ingrained trend. We have tried to work on this issue through Islamic means. The phenomenon is decreasing but not eradicated," Abed added.

"Through Islamic means" is tricky, because, traditionally, Islam has allowed such practices, women are to be cared for by men, and marriage is not defined at all like it is in the Christian world. Instead of being a lifelong union between one man and one woman, Islam's allowance for polygamy and no-fault divorce (instigated by husbands only) make the place of women extremely precarious. Their stability is in the hands of men, not religious texts.

"The selling of women has been out there in the past and now. One who overlooks this matter, overlooks the truth," said Mofti Moeen Shah, a member of the provincial council.

"In our tribe of Shinwari, they do it [sell women] when the husband dies," he added.

According to the council, aside from being traded for money, girls as young as 5 years old are given as compensation to victims of crimes committed by the girl's family member or to settle debts. After receiving a girl, the person will often sell her and keep the money.

"In districts of Nangarhar, there are married women between ages of 16 to 80 who are sold when either her husband needs money or wants to marry another girl," said Angiza Shinwari, a member of the provincial council.

"This practice has been done for years now, and it has recently increased because there is no rule of law and there is no punishment of the criminals," she added.

Although Islam is accepted in the pantheon of great religions, it has to account for what its adherents believe about the value of women:

4:34 “ Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other and because they support them from their means. 

"Protection" of a person would obviously differ from the protection of a possession, and yet it's the personhood of women that is of paramount concern here.

Females as chattel

There seems to be a discrepancy between the tribal elders and the current written law, with the tribal elders' guidance taking precedence, which isn't helpful to women:

Taj Mohammad tries hard to hold back his tears as he describes the most painful decision of his life. "I had to sell my six-year-old daughter Naghma to a relative to settle an old debt," Mr Mohammad says, staring blankly at the tattered tarpaulin roof of his small mud shelter.

A shy girl with a smiling face, Naghma is now engaged to a boy 10 years older than her. Mr Mohammad says his daughter may have to leave for the boy's home in Helmand's Sangin district in a year.

His wife and mother-in-law sob inconsolably as they try to protect Naghma and her seven siblings from the harsh Afghan winter outside. "Everyone in the family is sad," says Naghma's grandmother, who was herself a child bride. "We cry. We are in pain. But what else could we do?" she asks before answering her own question.

"The relatives wanted their money back. Taj couldn't pay, so he was forced to give them Naghma."

This family is not alone, as the practice of exchanging daughters for much needed money is widespread:

• Child marriages are illegal but widespread in Afghanistan. They happen mainly in rural areas, especially near Pakistan
• They are usually aimed at strengthening ties with rival families and tribes, as part of deals or to settle debts and disputes
• Poor families often end up selling daughters for large dowries from wealthy people - the husbands are usually much older
• Decisions to sell off girls for marriage are made by men - wives, mothers and sisters have little or no say
• Few people report them because they think it brings shame on the family
• Very young girls sold as brides may initially be raised as children by the family that bought them. Others have been victims of child sexual abuse.

So the question remains: One what have the tribal elders formed their traditions? Why do they stand so firmly for the notion that girls are chattel?

The legal age for marriage in Afghanistan is 16 for women and 18 for men. Dost Mohammad, the would-be groom's father, also lives in the Qambar camp. He agrees it is illegal to buy a child bride. "The government doesn't allow it," he says, but adds quickly: "I consulted the tribal elders and this is their decision."

Despite the fact it is illegal under Afghan law, the practice of marrying off child brides for money is widespread in many parts of Afghanistan. No accurate figures exist for numbers of children involved, but human rights campaigners say it is not uncommon for girls as young as Naghma to be sold.

Mohammad Musa Mahmodi, who heads the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission (AIHRC), expressed his concern at what he said were "traditions and economic situations that would force families to submit to the practice of selling their children".

I can say as a student of history that this is not found in the cultures founded on Christian precepts. When one considers that rampant povery in America during the time of western expansion, the dustbowl years or the depression of the 1930's, in Europe during all of its wars and uprisings over the last millennium, or in Russia with its history of violence and upheavals, there is never the resort to selling daughters so that families can have food or heating fuel.

Is it Christianity vs. Islam, or something else at work? Unfortunately, there is much to indict Islam in the Qur'an and ahadith, which would explain this horrific practice. Again, Islam is either right or wrong. If it is right, one cannot discourage the traditions; if it's wrong, one cannot fight the tribal elders without indicting the religion that forms their opinions.

What drives the Taliban?

The Taliban indicates that its interpretation of Islam is the most pure, driving the members to do this:

(Reuters) - More than 120 schoolgirls and three teachers have been poisoned in the second attack in as many months blamed on conservative radicals in the country's north, Afghan police and education officials said on Wednesday.

The attack occurred in Takhar province where police said that radicals opposed to education of women and girls had used an unidentified toxic powder to contaminate the air in classrooms. Scores of students were left unconscious.

Afghanistan's intelligence agency, the National Directorate of Security (NDS), says the Taliban appear intent on closing schools ahead of a 2014 withdrawal by foreign combat troops.

"A part of their Al Farooq spring offensive operation is ... to close schools. By poisoning girls they want to create fear. They try to make families not send their children to school," NDS spokesman Lutfullah Mashal said.

Afghanistan's Ministry of Education said last week that 550 schools in 11 provinces where the Taliban have strong support had been closed down by insurgents.

Last month, 150 schoolgirls were poisoned in Takhar province after they drank contaminated water.

Since 2001 when the Taliban were toppled from power by U.S.-backed Afghan forces, females have returned to schools, especially in the capital Kabul. They were previously banned from work and education.

But there are still periodic attacks against students, teachers and school buildings, usually in the more conservative south and east of the country, from where the Taliban insurgency draws most of its support.

Obviously, many Muslims educate their girls, and in many Muslim-majority countries, women participate in almost all professions. Perhaps it's a question of interpretation, or perhaps it's because some are lax in their observance. Either way, I would hope that we hear the voices of pious Muslims who abhor these actions, and who keep in mind that targeting innocents is reprehensible -- no matter what the cause.

Who will protect the children?

When fathers and policemen collaborate to abuse the innocence of children, it's very hard to imagine that either one will actually enforce the laws which have been passed to protect them, as this recent story shows:

Ten years after British forces entered the war-ravaged country, the Standard has uncovered shocking evidence of an eight-year-old girl who was married off to a policeman for cash. She was sold to the officer, in his twenties, in clear breach of laws introduced two years ago to protect women.

She was then the subject of a remarkable battle that symbolises the plight of girls in Afghanistan. Her story vividly highlights the failure to bring about social reforms in the stricken nation, despite the long presence of British forces.

It is revealed ahead of tomorrow's 10th anniversary of the first air strikes on Afghanistan and is a grim reminder of how once-high hopes for democracy, modern justice and social progress there have been dashed.

The child was sold to a member of the Afghan border police, a state employee, within the past year by her father in the southern Helmand district of Garmsir. A price was agreed with the father and the marriage was duly solemnised in a ceremony with a mullah. This was against Afghan state law on marriage but the ceremony gave legitimacy and status in the eyes of the communities and the families.

Unfortunately, this wasn't an isolated incident, as more than half the females married are under age 15, despite laws passed to eradicate selling child brides. Nor was her husband's promise to wait to consummate the marriage honoured:

It was agreed in the deal that the groom would not have sex with the bride until she had passed puberty. Under current law, the legal lower age for marriage is 16.

After a few months, the father returned to the bridegroom's family to complain. In breach of the contract, the husband had attempted sex with the child bride.

This was referred, with the help of international advisers and counsellors, to the legal authorities.

The public prosecutor and the Haquq, the local arbitrator and a key figure in community justice in Afghanistan, were requested to consider a prosecution against the abusive husband.

"The child was taken into custody," said my source, a governance adviser from the international community.

"She was examined by a US Marine doctor and was found to have been interfered with." At this point, the authorities decided this was a matter not for the law of Afghanistan but community and tribal custom.

The village elders decided that the husband had breached the agreement and so should pay the bigger bride price demanded by the father. They also ruled the child should return to her husband, whatever the risk to her health, happiness and even life.

Note, that she isn't returned to her family, the husband isn't prosecuted for his action--no! The father only receives more money for the girl. Thus justice doesn't turn on the girl's best interest, but on the details of the marriage contract.

Many may argue that this is based on culture, not theology, but there is the troubling element of Muhammed's child bride, Aisha, which nailed in the prevalent cultural practice 1400 years ago. Until the rights of such children are honoured -- and enforced by the fathers and policemen charged with protecting them -- there is little chance of authentic change, or the establishment of marriage as a noble and emotionally healthy institution.

"Muhammed's law"

After years of involvement in Afghanistan, there is no more respect for human dignity than before, According to this report in AsiaNews , especially for women:

[A mother and her daughter] were killed yesterday in Ghazni, 138 km southeast from Kabul, a few hundreds of metres from government offices. Although the area was recently handed over to Afghan authorities, international forces are still in control. “Everyone knows such violence goes on,” sources said.

Yesterday, a group of armed men entered the house where a young widow lived with her daughter. After accusing them of adultery, they took them out to the yard, where they were stoned and then shot dead. The attack was carried out only 300m from the governor's office in Ghazni city, but police arrived too late on the scene of the crime.

Despite the sound of screams and gunshots, neighbours did not help or inform the authorities. Officials says that a number of religious leaders in the city have been issuing fatwas, asking people to report any one who was "involved in adultery." Sources told AsiaNews that some imams, even in the capital, have also been stirring up people against foreigners and demanding everyone submit to Sharia to the letter.

Ten years after the fall of the Taliban, nothing has changed. “The international community has spent billions of dollars in the country, but they have been used to set up an army and enrich political elites; very little has gone to the people,” sources say.

“In Kabul, if you step outside the area around the government compound, you’ll see only crumbling houses, mud roads and poverty. No one has showed Afghans why democracy is good. Little has been done in the way of building schools, hospitals and businesses.”

The West is also at fault for allowing the government to base its laws exclusively on Sharia, using the excuse that it is a domestic matter.

“The government continues to be weak, corrupt and not very credible,” the sources say. “Extremists and religious authorities use Muhammad’s law without fear to settle disputes in total impunity.”

Has our involvement there been worthwhile? That is certainly debatable at this point. There seems to have been no meaningful changes at the grassroots level.

We will never know if this woman was guilty as charged, but that is the difference between Islam and Christianity. Although both creeds abhor adultery, Christianity admonishes the sinner, preferring repentance to death. If a Muslim is sure of the guilt of another, then dispatching the sinner while still in sin endangers the soul for all eternity. What is loving about that?